Circles | Kim Mingyu and Yoon Jeonghan ff

Chapter XI: Maybe This Love Ain't Perfect Yet

Once or twice a month, Jeonghan and Thean gets to eat in a dinner with their parents and this month is no exception.
Jeonghan and Thean were wearing simple clothes as they are the ones who do their laundry now. They can't go to laundry shops as they consider it too dangerous, someone could do things to their clothes that could hurt their skin. They just can't trust anyone now. So they can't wear formal clothes because they don't know how to wash them.

"You two started living together this month, right?" Melody asks, Thean's Mom. Vernon squeezes her sister's hand for support. Thean smiles at him. He even matched his clothing with her sister and Jeonghan. Thean was wearing a plain white tshirt that she guessed was Jeonghan's and a black leggings, Jeonghan is wearing a simple v-cut sweater and Vernon is wearing a beanie and a colorful jacket.

"Yes, Melody." Jeonghan answers with a smile.

"So how was it?" Ran says excitedly.

"It's—." Thean was about to say it's fine her father cuts her.

"Was it that bad that you two can't even wear proper clothing for our monthly dinner?" her father says, shooting dagger stares at the two of them.

"It wasn't bad. We were actually having fun. I would appreciate if you don't put words into my mouth, Dad." she answers. fighting the urge of not calling him Dad. He just disgusts her. She hates him so much.

"Thean-ah." Melody interjects. "Don't speak like that towards your father."

"I think it's great, though." Ran says with a kind smile. "I like that the two of you express yourselves more now. If you feel comfortable wearing such clothes and it makes your laundry duty easier, I'm not against what you choose to wear."

Han Seok eyes Thean suspiciously but the youngest girl just kept on eating.

"Thank you, Ran. Ah, just to inform you guys— Jeonghan is taking the bar examination this year." Thean says with a proud smile.

Jeonghan eyes Thean and squeezes her hand with a small smile.

"Really? That's great, Jeonghan-ah!" Melody says with a grin, looking towards Ran to congratulate her. "You're going to have a lawyer son, soon."

"After years of waiting. Thank you for finally deciding to take the bar exam, my son." Ran says with a proud expression written all over her face. "I've been and I'll always be proud of you, my only son."

"That's great. I've always longed to have a lawyer in the family." Han Seok says. Jeonghan forces a smile towards him. It was Thean's turn to squeeze Jeonghan's hand.

"Thank you, everyone." Jeonghan says.
...
"Have you eaten yet?" Thean says as she open the door of Mingyu's room. It was an empty room before since Thean and Jeonghan's home has five guest rooms and two master bedrooms.

"Oh, you're already here?" Mingyu says as he close his windows. "Your dinner did not take long?"

"I can't eat that much when I see Dad." she bluntly says. "I bought food for you."

"Right." Mingyu chuckles. "I've forgotten about eating. I was doing one of our essays."

"Well then, eat before you sleep." she says. "How is your arm?"

"Better than ever." Mingyu says. By now he was already able to take his arm cast. "But, Thean-ah.. I.. I want to tell you something."

"Hmm? What is it?"

"I want to go home now." He says. Thean's eyes squinted in confusion but she managed to keep her cool.

"Why? Do you not feel comfortable enough here? Is something wrong?" she asks, face painted with concern.

Mingyu wanted to curse. Even when she's confused, how can she look this beautiful and perfect?

"No, it's not that. I just.. I just want my life back." He says. "I can't keep on leaning on you like this."

"A month, a month more, Mingyu." she says. "After all your wounds and bones are healed, we'll have this conversation again."

There was silence after what she had said. Mingyu really wanted to go back to his usual life. Even though that usually and daily contain Thean, he is feeling guilty to live here free.

"I know.. I know I sound like I'm trying to control you but, I can't let anything happen to you again." she says, her head was kept low. She was looking on her feet as she sit on the couch parallel to his bed. "I.. I can't let you get hurt, Mingyu." that's when she let out a muffled sob, she was biting on her fist and Mingyu realizes that she was crying. "It was my fault you have to live in a hard way, Mingyu. You shouldn't have gone all your way towards me after I left you in New York. You could have died.. and I.. I will never accept that."

Mingyu kneels and looks towards Thean as he touch her precious face. No matter how she act tough everyday, doing all the house chores on her own without any single complain, Mingyu knows that she was having a hard time. But he never expected her to cry just because she thought all of the things that happened to him was her fault.

"You did nothing wrong, Thean-ah. Why are you crying like that?" he says through a smile. "Your father's sins were not yours to begin with. Why are you feeling bad?"

"Just because.."

"Shh. Stop it." Mingyu says. She was still crying. Tears keep on falling down her face and Mingyu could only apologetically smile at her. "You can cry all you want. Let everything out. But please see me leaving here as a reason to start your life as it was like before, Thean. I don't want to burden you with extra chores that you should have never done at the first place, just because of me."

"But Mingyu.."

"I don't know what you feel about me yet, Thean-ssi. But I love you and what we have right now is an imperfect slow love. It still has dents and I'm going to fix them by letting you get your life before back. I want you to heal from the wounds that I got. I know whenever you look at me you feel guilty. You can never heal if I will always push my presence through you."

"But Mingyu... I'm worried of you."

"They will not get me anymore." he says. "He will not be able to hurt me anymore. That's a promise. But for now I want you to work on yourself, alright? You have to be selfish for once to love yourself. And once you do, I'll pick you up and we'll go back to our own pace."

...
Jeonghan looks at the clock, it was 12:06 AM. He has a class to teach tomorrow by 9:00 am but here he is, doing his readings for his review.

"Wah! You scared me!" Jeonghan muses. By the time he looks back to his study table from the clock, Thean was already on his front. Her eyes were red but her hair was smoothed out and tied beautifully. She was wearing a pair of his pajamas and she has a glass of milk on her hand.

"Aren't you going to sleep?"

"You're so brave going to my room now, huh? In the middle of the night?" Jeonghan teases.

"Except for this wasn't your room. It is my study room." She grins. "Half of the books in here are engineering books, it was always meant for me. You bought all this books in purpose didn't you? Drink this milk."

She hands him the glass of milk and Jeonghan takes a sip. A smile crept into his face as he indulge on the taste of the warm sweet milk.

"Thanks." He winks at her. "I've always lived my life as if you're coming back to me. So I always consider you with my daily decisions. That's why this room has a lot of books for you."

Thean smiles. "Half of it are engineering books, 1/4 are law books, 1/8 are teaching books and—."

"Why did you stop?" Jeonghan smiles. "Children books. I know you always like your children to be fond of books like you."

"Children." she murmurs.

"Yes, Thean. Our children."

It was her turn to feel all nervous with Jeonghan's tone. Jeonghan reaches for her hand and kisses it ever so gently.

"I will always want to marry you, I will always choose to marry you. I will wait for you until you say the same and choose me as your lucky guy,too."