Take Me To Church (A John Lennon Story)

Chapter Twenty: Miscommunication

"Ariel, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Alta...I just need a few minutes to compose myself."

"Before you go, John's on the phone for you."

I hurried to the kitchen and grabbed the receiver. "Hello?"

"Ariel! I miss you so much!"

I tried to make it sound like I hadn't been crying. I couldn't mention what had happened when Alta was hovering around me. However, John saw through my act. "Hey...is something wrong?"

"One moment," I looked up at my foster mother, "can I, um...can I have a moment of privacy, please?" He stopped for a moment, but then left. I really hoped she wasn't listening in. Then I talked quietly to John. "I...I'm fine. How's Germany?"

John wasn't convinced. "You don't sound fine, love."

I was surprised he could hear me when I whispered, "I had to use what you gave me today."

"What? What happened? Are you hurt?"

"No...I'm fine..."

Aren't you Lennon's bird? Your father didn't do enough damage down there to keep John from having you, did he?

Well, that hurt, but I wasn't going to tell John that. "...I was walking with a friend, and these guys came up to us and pushed him down. They started teasing me about what happened with my father. I pulled out the knife to scare them...eventually they went away. But I cut one of them."

"Did you say you were walking with a guy?"

His tone was dark. It frightened me. "Yes, but he's a friend from the library, nothing more. John...I love you so much. I couldn't ever be unfaithful."

"I have to go."

"John, are you upset-"

"Tell my aunt that I'm fine, and I'll be coming home sooner than planned."

"John, I'm sorry, please don't go-"

The line was disconnected.

"...I love you."

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"Ouch!"

"Sorry, love...here, let me move this way a little..."

John didn't want to lay on my legs as they were still slightly bruised from my father. He moved to my side, and kissed my forehead. "I don't want you to think this was just something quick...I'm too in love with you to do something like that. I feel so honored that you trust me..." I moved closer to him. He was so warm, meanwhile I felt so cold. "I love you so much," I whispered. One hand was moving in slow circles around his bare back, and the other was in his messy hair. I placed several small kisses on his neck. He pulled me closer. At that moment, I felt so tiny compared to him-

"Ariel?"

"Oh! Yes?" I blushed profusely. I was supposed to be reading, but my mind had wandered to my time at Stu's house with John.

"You still haven't told me why you came home so upset."

It was past dinner by then. Alta had made a small pot of tea for us to share. Sean had wanted to go to bed already.

"Oh, God...Ariel, I love you..."

"Oh, John..."

My face was burning up. "...Some boys were teasing me on my way home...about what happened with my father. They also said a few things about John."

"What kind of things?"

"Just names, really."

"And what did they say to you?"

I swallowed hard. "They said that my father didn't do a good enough job...down there...to keep John from having me." It was embarrassing to admit that to her. At the last word my voice broke. Alta embraced me. "Ariel...whatever people say to you, remember that you are stronger than their words and that what happened to you was not your fault. I assure you that you did nothing wrong."

"I want to believe so."

John said we had to hurry if we wanted to make it back to Alta's house in time. I blushed as John watched me button up my shirt. "What are you doing?" I asked, even though I knew. He gave up trying to button his shirt and fell down on me once more, kissing me.

Alta squeezed my hand to reassure me once more, and left me alone to read a book. But I kept thinking of John. My mind wandered to a rehearsal with his band. Paul and Pete had gone out to smoke and George had to leave early, so we were alone.

"You sound wonderful," I said. He sat close enough to me that our thighs touched. "You seem energetic today."

He leaned in close so his friends hadn't a chance of hearing. "I got a bit excited during that last number watching you. I think I can tell that you got excited too."

I blushed as he rested his hand on my upper leg. "How?"

"You were biting your lip a lot. You suddenly looked very uncomfortable just sitting here..." He kissed my cheek, but then quickly stood up. I wanted more than just one small kiss, but Paul and Pete came back in. John smirked at me; I felt like I should have left the room to contain my blush.

I found myself biting my lower lip again. I quickly stopped and picked up my book when Sean came into the room. "Hello, Ariel."

"Hi, Sean."

He sat down across from me. "Is that good?"

"I'm only on the third page, but it seems interesting."

He was silent for a minute before he asked me if I missed John. I admitted that I missed him terribly.  He said that he missed John too.  "He made you happy like no one else could...so I wish he was here."

"Oh, Sean...you make me happy too."  I reached out to embrace him.  He tensed slightly before hugging me back.  According to Alta, being touched bothered him sometimes, so that if someone could touch him no matter what, that meant he felt very safe around them.  Though he was afraid for a moment, he allowed me to, which made me feel honored.  

That night I dreamed about John.  He said that he was coming home earlier than he planned...but I wondered if it was because of what he thought I did.  If so I felt awful for the miscommunication.  Having Robby as a friend wasn't wrong, was it?

I loved John with all my heart, and as nice as Robby was, he didn't know me the way John did.  I didn't think anyone would ever know me the way John did.  

As I fell asleep, another memory stirred my mind.  

"I'm sorry...it was a nightmare...my father was chasing me.  He said he wanted to finish what he started..." John sat up to hold me.  He brushed a hand through my hair.  "Trust me, you're safe here.  He won't find you again.  I'll make sure of it."  He struggled to hold my gaze; I would be embarrassed if I looked him in the eye.  

"If I fall asleep again the dream will just come back."

"Then...we don't have to sleep yet."

He went down to the edge of the bed, slowly removed my stockings and proceeded to kiss  up my leg.  I blushed wildly at the feeling.  He had his hands rubbing my thighs slowly when I began to get nervous.  "John...um...I'm a bit nervous about taking his further.  Can we just cuddle instead?"  

"If that's what you want."  

He crawled up the outside of my legs and dropped on me, his head landing in my chest.  I giggled, embarrassed, and played with his hair.  He kissed my chest through the fabric gently.  "I love you, Ariel."

"I love you too, John."