Lone Wolff | Charles Leclerc

18 - karting and partying

Well, of course, I barely got any sleep, my thoughts kept racing and replaying what happened and I was up all night texting Willow - and also Olivia, but she was already asleep when I texted her. Willow had just awoken in Australia with my rant popping onto her screen about how much I loved my date with Charles and how he had made me feel so comfortable around him without trying and how it drove me crazy. She was so excited for me, she's such an amazing friend.

I had so many scenarios running through my head about what could happen now and actually had gotten me anxious while lying in bed as this was a deep dive into the unknown if I was going to continue whatever it was between Charles and me. But at the same time I felt my heart skip a beat when I thought of any of the kind gestures he had done. All my head was doing was thinking about everything that could happen at work, in the media, in my personal life if I actually was going to date Charles Leclerc and it wasn't gonna be a one-time thing as I thought it was gonna be, because why would someone like him want to date me? I was used to being a lone Wolff and this made me really anxious somehow because this flirtation, this date wasn't just affecting me, but so many more people. Random people would be all up in my business if this came out in the wrong way and I was not ready for that. Willow tried to put me at ease that I shouldn't stress too much about Charles. I should just enjoy the time I have with him and make sure that being with him feels right and then all the shit that'd come my way would be worth it. And I could always back out if it didn't feel right, which was true. I owed him and the public eye nothing. But I actually noticed while chatting with Willow that I really liked the guy, way more than I should. And I was actually more scared of what was to come when we would be together and more sad if we weren't together, but was it worth it? God, I hated how fast my brain could go especially when I needed to sleep. It was all too confusing and it had me tossing and turning all night, so I had barely slept when Jack busted into my room at 8 AM to wake me to get dressed to go karting.

 "Looks like someone had a rough night." Susie giggled as she saw me sitting at the breakfast table with my third coffee and bag underneath my eyes. "You couldn't sleep?" Toto looked up from his phone with raised eyebrows. I shrugged.

 "Yeah, I think I was too tired and couldn't sleep after exploring Monaco all day." I answered. "And I've just been thinking about life a lot recently, so that didn't help either..." I smiled tiredly and Susie nodded, squinting her eyes a little bit. I don't think she fully believed me, but let it slide as Toto just continued to read the news on his phone with his toasted pumpernickel bread in his other hand.

 "Well, let's hope that you are not too tired to race today, because karting is also very intense and Jack has been looking forward to racing his big sister all week." Susie beamed and petted Jack on his head, ruffling his fluffy hair. 

 "Yeah! I'm gonna win!" Jack exclaimed with a big grin.

 "Well, I'm not going down without a fight on the track so easily." I grinned and Jack giggled excitedly as he ran off to get his stuff. I really liked the little guy. I could see quite some of myself in him when I was younger before all the hurtful things happened. I hoped that he never had to experience anything like that ever. I had tried to guard my half siblings from their dad - my step dad - and he never hurt them I made sure of that, but they did experience what me and mom went through.

A little while later we arrived at the karting track and we all got our suits on to get onto the track. I got a little instruction lesson by a very excited Susie - who suddenly sounded very Scottish, which made me giggle - as Toto had gotten Jack out to pick his kart. Toto's assistant had joined us and was taking pictures and videos all morning, as the Mercedes PR team really wanted to get some family pictures at the track to make the fans happy. And I knew how much Olivia wanted to also get a snap of me not crashing the kart, so I was glad that I had put on some extra make-up to look a little bit more alive instead of a zombie with barely any sleep.