Lone Wolff | Charles Leclerc

01 - welcome to mercedes

Today is the day. Me and Toto had been working towards this day for months on end now and it was finally my first GP weekend. It was the beginning of a new season and the beginning of a new life for me. Ever since getting back in touch after more than 10 years apart, we had been trying to get to know the other one better. We had both been played by my horrible stepdad David. Somehow this unexpected reunion had eventually led to me working for his team. It felt like I was slowly getting my father back in my life, even though they were just baby steps, but this was a whole big step. This also meant that I had visited the paddock a couple of times last season and without a doubt loved the whole chaotic atmosphere that was going on there. It was weird to suddenly be in my father's life again and having him in my life again, I wasn't used to it at all and we had to figure out our whole father-daughter dynamic from scratch, but on top of that he was also now my boss. Now I was actually standing right in the crazy life he had been living the past couple of years which was Formula 1 and I was as ready as I could be.

My mother had let my stepdad manipulate me, Toto and even herself and I had not been ready to forgive her for everything. They had painted Toto as a horrible father and actually made me believe it for years. It had broken my heart into a million different pieces lot when she spoke the truth. I had trusted her and everything I had known for years had been based on lies. A little part of me could somewhere understand her motives as I had lived in the same household with the same abusive man who had also manipulated her, but it still hurt way worse than any break up ever could, it was a full on betrayal. I was tough, always had to be around my stepdad to protect my half siblings and mom, but this hurt me in a completely different way. I had thought for years that I was the unwanted child of Toto Wolff, who wanted nothing to do with me, but everything I knew had been based on lies.

I had to find a way to speak to Toto after I learned the truth. I manage to look him up at Oxford with my best friend Willow, as he was giving a lecture there. He was shocked to see me - which is a huge understatement - as he had been told I wanted nothing to do with him and that I hated him for years, every time he tried to reach out. He held me in his arms for the first time in more than 10 years and I really didn't want to let him go, scared of losing him again. The emotions that I felt in that moment were just too intense to comprehend and after that, we started working on our relationship again as I told him bits and pieces of what had happened. It was hard.

My best friend, Willow, noticed that it was hard for me to adjust to life with a real father figure in my life. I didn't want to talk about it and I always tried to change the subject on the matter, but Willow knew everything that had happened and never pushed. I missed Willow a lot, instead of going to work after graduating from university, she went to Australia and New Zealand to backpack before 'starting a boring adult life' as she said. I hadn't seen her in a while, but I was planning on meeting up with her again during the Australian GP as I had gotten her VIP tickets to visit. One of the perks of being the daughter of Toto Wolff I guess.

From the moment I met Toto again at Oxford, he slowly became a larger part of my life, gaining my trust, which was hard as the voice in my head kept telling me that he was going to leave me again, like he had done before. It was a whole rollercoaster ride that I was still riding with ups and downs. I always felt like I was on my own, I could never be truly myself and trust people because I was afraid that they would leave or hurt me. But since my mother came clean on the whole situation with her ex-lover Toto Wolff, I have gotten him back in my life and gained a whole new life in the meantime.

My focus recently had been on rebuilding the relationship with Toto. I had gained another half-brother and an adorable stepmother with Jack and Susie. Both Susie and Toto had noticed that I was really interested in Formula One and one hell of an organizer and supervisor - their words, not mine - as I had been working as a front-of-house manager and performance supervisor at a local theatre. Besides that, I also helped organize many small festivals during the summer. My old job basically meant keeping everyone happy and everything running, taking a whole 180 on the spot when something would happen and making it work. The chaos made me thrive. Toto had told me that for the new season, they needed a new event manager and supervisor for the Mercedes team, which basically meant someone who would keep everything running, from the drivers to the mechanics to the marketing team and the PAs on the paddock. This job meant keeping everything on schedule and on track and maintaining order in the chaos that was a GP weekend and everything leading up to it. It sounded so cool.