Dipper?!

Soos and the real girl

Third pov:
Mabel skipped through the mystery shack, "La la la la la la la... ahh!" She screamed as her braces got caught on the screen of the door, [screams] "Braces, braces! Caught in the screen door! Someone dictace my will! I'm giving it all to waddles" Mabel cried, "say 'ah', girl dude" soos said as he used a screwdriver to get mabel's brace unattached from the door, "ahh-uh!" Mabel said as soos used the screwdriver to cut the wire, then he placed her safely on the ground, "soos! You saved me!" Mabel exclaimed, "Just doing my job, hambone! I'll see you dudes tomorrow" soos claimed as he left, "bye, soos!" Jake & Mabel waved together, "Night, soos!" Wendy said , "Night, soos!" Stan said glancing their way then went back to making a 'thigh-clops'. As soos left the shack he sang "doo doo doo... Walking to my car..."

Jake's pov:
"You ever wonder what soos does when he's not here at the mystery shack?" Mabel asked, "not really" Wendy said, "not once ever" grunkle Stan replied, "not really, although he did tell me, he likes video games" I replied.

+AT SOOS' HOUSE+

Third pov:
"Punch! Punch those leopards." Soos said while gaming, [bell chiming] "ooh, highlights are done! You are gonna make the other grandmas at the bingo hall, so jealous." Soos declared, "just a minute, mijo. Look at this. Your cousin Reggie is having an engagement party next mouth." Grandma said, "Wait. wait. Reggie is engaged? But he's like the poor man's Soos!" Soos cried, "I do not want to pressure you, but you are a man now. In a way, it's time for you to start meeting girls. I would like to see you settled before I ascend to heaven and live with the angels." Grandma said, "And with Grandpa!" Soos replied, "no, he is not there." She replied as she looked down and smiled, "please find a girl to bring to Reggie's engagement. For abuelita." Grandma pleaded, then she walked away, "heh! No problem! I'm great at fixing stuff, playing video games, having a sort-of moustache. I could totally get a date in a week. Totally. Piece of cake." Soos nervously said, "you're dead." The video game yelled, "I'm dead." Soos declared

€intro music€

Third pov:
"Hello! Please don't let my horrible, elderly face frighten you! Don't you want to use that nickel to get a nugget from old Goldie? Watch this!" Stan exclaimed as he put a coin in the machine and it started to malfunction [shrieking] the kid dropped his candy and started crying,  "okay, seriously, Mr pines, it's time to throw that thing out. It's face reminds everyone of the inevitability of death." Wendy unsettlingly said, "what? Sure, he's a little rusty around the edges, but old Goldie's a classic show-stopper like me! Oh, kill it! Kill it!" Stan screamed, "huh, a woman!" Soos said stunned, then proceeded to jump in the shirt rack, "all right, soos, you could do this. Just use your mouth to say words that makes romance happen." Soos said as he slowly came out of the shirt rack, "Your face is good. I'm a Soos!" Soos said, the woman ran away while screaming, Soos slowly hid back in the shirt rack in defeat, "Soos? What's wrong?" Jake asked as he moved the shirts so he could see Soos, "I... I think I was flirting! But I'm not sure." Soos admitted, "I'll find Mabel" Jake said as Mabel popped out a barrel full of keyrings, "did someone say flirting?" "Well, I sort of promised my grandma I'd get a date by the end of the week.  But I've never actually been on a date before. You belong on me, out of order sign." Soos sighed as he took the sign off the vending machine, "finally, my prayers for a chance to match-make this summer have been answered!" Mabel exclaimed as she got on her knees and looked at the ceiling. "Soos, a little advice you need to get rich. Or lie about being rich. Outside of that, I don't like your chances." Stan stated as he looked at Soos. "Don't listen to Stan, dude. You're a sweet guy with a steady job and a pick up truck." Wendy commented as she looked up from her magazine. "would you date him?" Stan asked Wendy. "Oh... Would you look at that..." Wendy said as she stuck her head back in her magazine, "Soos, do you help us so much. We're gonna help you okay dude. Let's get you a date" Jake said. " We're taking you where romance lives and fashion style dies. To the mall!" Mabel exclaimed, " I'm gonna go find a replacement for Old Goldie. Babysit Soos while I'm gone." Stan stated as he walked away with ol goldie. Mabel looked around, "Alright Soos, are you ready to explode a charm bomb on these poor unsuspecting ladies?" "Ah, but what if I embarrass myself again?" Soos said nervously, "You can't be any worse at this than Mabel" Jake teased. "Yeah!" Mabel shouted then processed what Jake said, then she punched him in the arm. Mabel blows a whistle, "And flirt!" Mabel yells excitedly. "Eye contact" Mabel states. Soos walks up to a woman, "Hey there! I'm not scared of your eyes at all! I'm gonna look at them!" Soos declares as he stretches his eyelids which causes the woman to scream and run away. "Eye contact." Soos says as he follows the woman. "Conversation" Jake said, Soos went to a different girl. "You know I've actually been in a pig's body. Did you know pigs have a hard time walking backwards? Not you though!" Soos laughs as the backs away. "not that i'm calling you a pig. Where are you going?" Soos smiles as he doesn't realise how creepy he appears. "Confidence!" mabel states. "so you're probably a girl, right? Wrong? No, i was right the first time. Wrong?" Soos is skeptical of the next person he talks to as he cant if it's a guy or a girl. "Tossing away garbage in the garbage can, whew!" Stan sings as he pushes Ol' Goldie in the garbage. "Ah, dont look at me like that! this is how it's got to be!" Stan states as he looks at Ol' Goldie. Stan gets disgusted as oil drips out Ol' Goldie's eye and he shuts the garbage bin. Stan sees children laughing, "What in the..." Stan follows the children into a restaurant, arcade and entertainment. "What is this living nightmare? Why do kids love it so much?" Stan questions then a animatronic badger starts singing and playing the guitar. a member of staff named Gary tells Stan "Oh, yeah, that's Will E. Badger. He opens for Hoo-ha And The Jamboree." The kids are happy. "Oh! Sir, I would like to buy that badger." Stan declares. Gary/the member of staff wearing a cowboy hat refuses "You're in over your head, Gramps! Animatronics is a young man's game! You couldn't handle the hard-core life of the pizza robot manager. Huh." He flexes his arms then laughs. "Flinched!" Gary says. a kid pukes. "Hey, you, barfing in the ball pit. Gary's on the case!" Gary walks off. "I'm gonna get that badger!" Stan declares to himself. Soos, Mabel and Jake are sitting on a bench. "Don't worry. Soos. You will find the right girl, you just need to stick with it." Mabel jokes as a sticky hand hits Soos in the face. She laughs. "Ah, could this day get any worse? Oh, no, Cousin Reggie!" Soos says in a panic. "Feel it, it's muscle." Reggie says to his fiancé, she laughs and touches his arm. "He can't see me like this! I got to hide!" soos says then runs inside a store. "This is it, Soos. A lifetime of loneliness. You're the only ones who could pove me.... Fighty Hogg, Dr. Punch Head MD. Huh. Never seen that one before. 'Virtually improve your dating skills, 9 out of 10 basement dwellers recommend!' This is perfect!" Soos shouts holding a game. "Well, i guess you are better at games than flirting." Mabel says. Jake stares at the game with a horrified face but quickly composes himself. "are you sure you want that game...?" Jake asks nervously. "He's right, Im not sure you want to buy that game, sir. This is the third time someone's brought that back. And there's a note on it that says destroy at all costs." The staff member said. "So, hey, there. What's your deal? Like the... oh, she's dead." Soos states as the cardboard mannequin falls. "We'll take our changes" Mabel said while Jake silently disagreed.