ASOUE: The Riveting Romance

The Not-So Grim Grotto - Kladora

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Quick heads-up: This is gonna be a much longer one-shot, so y'all better get comfortable, since I won't be splitting this into parts.

Just how long, you ask? Oh, just about 10166 words, that's all.

Enjoy!!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------It was a dark and stormy night.

As the Self-Sustaining Hot Air Mobile Home floated over the edge of my former apprentice and mentor Lemony Snicket's now abandoned hometown of Stain'd-by-the-Sea during his V.F.D. apprenticeship, Duncan and Isadora Quagmire, along with their de-facto guardian Hector, were watching the approaching storm get closer and closer to them and quickly began to inflate the balloons so that way they could float over the storm and avoid crashing into the deep, dark bellows of the sea below them.

However, before they could finish the task at hand, they heard what sounded like a very shrill whistle from off in the very far distance and then heard three very loud shrieks and looked up and saw three ginormous eagles fly towards the SSHAMH with their talons facing outward and they quickly realized that the eagles were gonna try to bring them down and they quickly went to go arm themselves. Duncan grabbed a harpoon gun, Isadora found a slingshot from when Hector was a kid and a small pile of rather large rocks and Hector had a banjo that belonged to his grandfather. "Hey, Izzie, if we don't make it out of this alive, I just wanted to let you know that you were the best sister a guy could ever have." said Duncan calmly as he wiped his brow and watched the eagles get closer and closer. Isadora chuckled. "I could say the same to you. And don't worry, when we defeat the murder birds and get back to the city, we'll find the Baudelaires." she said reassuringly.

Duncan turned his head to look at her. "What makes you so sure about tha---" he began to say before one of the eagles let out another loud screech and they began to attack. Narrowly missing a pair of sharp talons, Duncan ducked to avoid getting cut open like a can of peaches and then shot the harpoon gun, hitting the eagle right in the stomach. "Bull's-eye!!!" he exclaimed happily before he reloaded the gun and ran over to help Isadora, who was at the mast of the SSHAMH, and trying to get a clear shot so she could bring down another eagle, who had already popped two balloons, before she heard the sound of a trigger being pulled, and ducked before she heard a small cry of pain come from the eagle and watched it fall down to the sea with a harpoon in its chest. "Thanks, Duncan." she said quickly as she pulled him in for a quick hug.

'"Celebrate when you're half-done

and the finish won't be quite as fun '"

he recited hurriedly as he wiped his brow. "Come on, we gotta go help Hector!!!" he yelled before they ran over to the center of the SSHAMH, where the timid handyman was flinging his banjo around wildly, trying to hit the third and final eagle, who was flying towards the largest balloon. Readying the harpoon gun and slingshot, Duncan and Isadora managed to fire their weapons. But they were too late.

Right as the eagle went down, a small pop! was heard and they all looked up and saw the balloon had popped which meant they were about to fall to the bottom of the sea. "Don't worry, guys. I packed some parachutes in case of emergencies like this one. However, they might be a little big on you." said Hector nervously as he helped the Quagmires get their parachutes on before he did himself and they all walked over to the edge of the SSHAMH, where Duncan and Isadora held hands and nervously glanced at one another before they sighed defeatedly and jumped with Hector right as it started to rain.