ASOUE: The Riveting Romance

Where There's Smoke, There's Fire - Kladora/Quiglet

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------This is a semi-sequel to "The Not-So Grim Grotto", since y'all seemed to enjoy it so much. And I'm just warning you now: This one-shot is much longer than that one was. Oops!!!

Anyways, enjoy!!!! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Unless you were born yesterday, in which case, welcome to the world, little baby, you have probably observed that things aren't always what they seem. The surface of a pond might appear to be calm, but, in reality, any number of secrets could be hidden beneath it. And I'm sorry to say the world is like a pond in that way. When you perform even the tiniest of actions, like dropping a stone, it can ripple until the whole world has been changed.

And I'm even sorrier to say that was exactly the case with the Baudelaire orphans as they rode in the back of a taxi that was being driven by the sister of my former V.F.D. apprentice and mentor, Kit Snicket, on its way to the Last Safe Place: The Hotel Denouement. Ever since that fateful day at Briny Beach when they learned from a most unhelpful banker named Mr. Poe that they had lost their parents in a terrible fire that destroyed their entire home, they had spent more time than naught evading a cruel and greedy man named Count Olaf, who had used a wide variety of wicked, yet only partially successful, schemes to try and get his hands on their family fortune. 

And I'm finally sorriest to say that things may not appear to be what they might seem to be at a first glance, no matter how many times you look at them, and the Baudelaires had unfortunately learned that the hard way, a phrase which here means "finding themselves surrounded by many mysteries after learning about Count Olaf's connection to the letters V.F.D.", and as they rode in the back of the taxi that was being driven by Kit Snicket, they couldn't help but feel like things would never appear to be what they might seem to be at a first glance.

"Things aren't always what they seem, Baudelaires. It may seem like I'm speeding recklessly because I'm a taxi driver who doesn't care about traffic safety laws, but really, I'm trying to shake the car that's been following us." said Kit hurriedly as she accelerated the taxi.

"There's a car following us?" asked Violet worriedly. Kit looked at Violet through the rear-view mirror of the taxi and nodded. "I suspect it belongs to a pair of villains I recently encountered on a mountain." "We were there, too." said Klaus with a small smile on his face. Kit nodded again. "I know exactly where you've been, Klaus Baudelaire. I wish I could've helped you all along, but ever since the schism, there have been more fires than even a Volunteer Fire Department can put out." said Kit solemnly as she sighed sadly.

Klaus, Violet and Sunny nodded their heads in understanding and turned to look out the window at all the burned down homes. "Those look like they burned down, recently." "Our enemies are getting bolder. But the tables are about to turn, and so is this car, so hang on." said Kit before she swerved the taxi hard to the right. "I know you must have thousands of questions, and I wish I could answer them over a leisurely brunch, but our agents are already on their way to the Last Safe Place, so I'm afraid you'll have to settle for a quick debrief and a picnic in the back of a taxi. There's a picnic basket on the floor."

If you're someone who's content with living a slow-paced lifestyle filled with mundanity, than you must know that having to settle for the condensed, fast-paced equivalent to what you wanted to do for the day, whether it's enjoying a nice luncheon with some close friends or family, or being able to successfully hide yourself from your enemies in the same location for more than two hours at a time, is hardly an enjoyable experience. If you're forced to settle for the condensed, fast-paced version of a nice luncheon, than the odds are it will be very rushed and uncomfortable and someone will probably choke on a poisoned BLT sandwich, or you might be forced to eat your food in the depths of the ocean because the submarine you were traveling on exploded, and the worst outcome of all is that you may only be able to take one bite of your food before the secret police arrive at the restaurant to take you away for questioning.