Nothing But Bones

11: Trespassing

Kepler does indeed let Elton pick him up, but not without inspecting his pockets. Elton doesn't let him find anything but lint and stray string. He hoists the large rat up to Tiff's waiting arms and then moves back to the gate where Dingus is starting to whine.

"Don't worry, buddy, we're going to get you free," he assures him. "Just hang tight."

Listening half-heartedly to Elton reassuring his precious Dingus, Tiff pulls the gloves back out of her pocket, turns them right-side-out, and snaps them onto her hands like she's preparing for an autopsy instead of trying to climb a wall. She may have met her match in terms of trees countless times, but she has never met a wall or fence that was entirely impassable to her. It's mostly a leg-based kind of thing, like climbing rocks in the woods or trying to get up onto the roof of the old house. Denny insists it should be more upper body strength than lower, but they both know that's not going to happen. She pulls herself up, straddles the wall for a second, and tries to assess the best way down. She's probably just going to jump.

Tiff's phone buzzes in her back pocket, incessant reminders of her maybe-fuck-up. Logic dictates that she shouldn't check her phone while she's in the middle of climbing a wall, but she also knows that the buzzing is going to drive her insane. If that doesn't, the need to know what it is definitely will. Reception seems to be a bit better up here than it was on the ground.

The culmination of Bryce Baker losing it is: "Tiff, it's just complicated."

Second: "We're still friends. I hope."

Third: "I haven't told him about Mark. He doesn't know about who I used to be."

She pauses, one leg on either side of the wall."Whether or not you tell him is up to you. It's definitely going to change things. Hell, if what I've done comes up, there's no guarantee he isn't going to take off running and like... call the police or something, even though the feds already know more than they should."

She sends him another picture, like a distraction, from the top of the wall: Dingus stuck under the fence, Elton holding Kepler.

"But like... if he doesn't get that redemption is a thing you do and not something that you do or don't deserve... Well, first of all, then he isn't really cut out for this field, and second— he's probably not worth being around. That's kind of a shit thing for me to say, but you know how long it's taken to get that. Even if it never goes away. I hesitate to ask if this is a gay ass moment but, if this is a gay ass moment, good luck with your gay ass moment."

Fuck. That doesn't work as a distraction at all. A second picture, then: "This is the tree I fell out of."

Tiff puts away her phone and drops down onto the ground. It's time to free Dingus.

Kneeling behind Dingus and his big stuck butt, Elton watches Tiff type rapidly on her phone, then take a picture of him, type some more, then take a picture of the tree. What's she up to? He can't figure her out, but he will. Oh, he absolutely will.

Right when he's about to shout at her to 'come on,' Tiff drops down to the other side of the wall.

"Glad you could join us."

"Glad I could be here," she mutters, clearly distracted.

"Let's free this idiot. I'm going to start pushing on his ass."

Tiff tries to get a good hold on the dog from the other side. It's made a tad more complicated by the knowledge of how you shouldn't pick up a dog, but a complete lack of knowledge on how you should. Kepler will bite her if she holds him incorrectly. Denny doesn't let her pick her up at all (and she isn't a dog anyway.) Somehow, she isn't sure that Dingus is going to do anything.

"Don't worry about him biting or anything, by the way," Elton grunts. "Dingus is named precisely for his... well... Dingus-ness. Isn't that right, boy?"

Dingus wags his tail. It slaps heavily against Elton's jeans.

Tiff frowns and adjusts her grip. "We should have brought butter."

"Better yet, I should have just left the dumb dumb at home. Habit, though. Ol' Dingbat here goes everywhere with me."

"Yeah, well, it's a little late to take him back." She pulls again, adjusting her stance this time. When she looks down, the dog looks back up at her, wet nose shining in the summer sun. "How the hell are you so stuck?"

Dingus just pants, plum-pleased to be here.

Elton adjusts his grip on the fluffy dog butt as he assesses just how stuck his beloved friend is. All he would need to do is dig away some of the gravel underneath Dingus. That would allow him a little extra clearance and Tiff some extra help. He quickly, but carefully, shifts the gravel from underneath the yellow lab. Dingus immediately begins wiggling forward a bit.

"Oh, he's almost there!" Elton scoops some more gravel. "Just one more good pull and his ass is free."

Tiff pulls hard enough that, when she goes flat on her back in the gravel, Dingus comes falling back with her. This certainly isn't the first time she's fallen in gravel: this certainly isn't the first time a canid has immediately started licking her face.

She takes hold of the dog's leash, pushes herself up to a crouch, and brushes herself off. "We did it," she whispers to the snout in front of her.

Dingus licks her face again like a sneaky little treat and runs in happy tangled-leash circles around her. Kepler throws a small rock at Dingus, but misses. His aim has never been all that great when it comes to moving objects.

Elton breathes a sigh of relief as he sees his best friend freed from his stupid temporary prison. "Thank fucking God."

Tiff holds up both leashes in some sort of victory. "We did it!"

He stands himself up, brushing himself off as well and assesses the imposing stone wall. "Now it's my turn. Ugh."

It isn't graceful or pretty in any regard and leaves Elton with a new tear in his jeans, but he shimmies his way up and lands a little too hard on the ground all the same.

"Ow. Fuck."

Standing up and looking himself over for any damage, Elton finally makes his way over to where Tiff and the two bickering animals are. "Well, I think it's time we investigate a haunted house."