Nothing But Bones

44: Cry To Hell

Kepler holds open Boris's left eye and pours water into it, then goes to do the same to the right.

Boris gasps. He rubs his eyes and blinks furiously. When he tries to look around, he comes face to face with the rat.

He tries to scramble back, but cars don't work like that. He just winces from the pain of everything and the seatbelt. "What's going on?"

"We're in the woods." She unbuckles herself and turns down the radio a little. "Don't try anything."

Boris grimaces. "And what do you plan to do here, Tiff? Hmm?"

"It's not what I plan to do. It's what you're going to do."

He laughs. "Really? Do tell."

"You're going to be normal. You're not going to try to kill anyone. You're just going to sit here. And we're going to talk. Like people."

The laughing continues until it turns into coughing. "Fuck. You brought me here to talk? Want to know my tragic backstory? I had wonderful parents. They made even better corpses. I still have them– Well, no. I don't."

"There's the tragedy. Lost your parents' corpses." She wants to kick him.

"Fucking Halverson and his Black Robe assholes took all of my pretty things."

"So soon?"

"Did they not tell you? I assume you're doing his dirty work."

"I might be."

"Of course. Cowards."

"They only told me you worked with Chip and you were a necromancer. They didn't even give me an end goal."

"No, I expect they wouldn't have. You know, Halverson and I used to be friends. I was actually his superior! I assume it's him who sent you?"

"Nobody with the BRD has ever given me a name. Just told me to call them 'agent.'"

"Yes, yes. Keep it impersonal. They don't technically exist. All black book shit. I was a true loyal Robe once. I mean... I had my own side hobby, of course. But really, I got to track some of the best necromancers in the country. Then they found out about my... hobby and I had to run. So here we are."

"Here we are. So the Robes already showed up and took your shit? How did you get— Did they not take you?"

"This was several years ago, darling. I've kept myself real quiet."

"Oh, cool. So I can still steal your books once I kill you. Fantastic."

"Is this what you want? My notes? My books? All of this is because you want to study what I've done? Why, Tiffany, I am speechless. All you had to do was ask. I'd have made you my apprentice. I can see how similar we are. Chip told me so much about you."

"First of all, it's Tiffany May. Second, Chip barely knew me. I was just his kid's friend." She taps the steering wheel in front of her. "Third, the 'wanting your research' was incidental. All of this is because Kepler stole a golf cart. I just have a habit of... collecting the research of horrible men. Like Dr. Garber. Like you."

He shakes his head and sighs. "Absolutely. Of course. I mean, what else would you want the notes of the world's greatest living necromancer other than for a collection! And you'd be surprised, Tiffany May, just how much Chip Winger knew. Yes, the man was egotistical and loved to talk about himself, but he was such a brilliant magician. Wizard? I don't know. Chip was my mentor in some regards. The dumb bastard, though. Got too greedy, didn't he? Should have never shown him the Other Beings."