Nothing But Bones

49: Back to Lake Wonder

The car jostles over another uneven section of mountain road, more than audible over the skips in the CD playing. Tiff hates driving, but it isn't so bad right now. Even if the other people (person and two animals) in the car don't seem to appreciate it.

Elton peers over his sunglasses at her. "I can drive, if you want. You're gripping that steering wheel so hard."

"I'm fine," she lies through gritted teeth. "I've got it."

He looks over her shoulder and into the backseat. Dingus keeps trying to lick Kepler's ears. He has been since they got into the car. Kepler isn't having it and keeps pushing the Hellhound's snout away. He looks back to Tiff. "Okay, if you say so. Just remember that I can die."

"It's fine. I'm not going to kill you. Just— Look at the observatory." She doesn't take her hands off the wheel to gesture out Elton's window. "We're almost there."

Sure enough, they are. After about twenty more minutes of bad back roads and increasingly-stressful music, there's the sign. Purple stripes, white lettering: Welcome to Lake Wonder.

Tiff rolls her eyes at the fact that the Bigfoot has been painted over again. She'll have to put it back later.

Elton takes off his sunglasses and looks at the sign, smiling. Then he frowns and puts his sunglasses on, looking away from the sign. "I'm so fucking nervous, Tiff. I'm going to fucking throw up."

"Don't throw up. This isn't my car."

He groans. "I won't. I'm supposed to meet Ben at some park after I settle in the hotel. I imagine that'll be soon. What are you going to do first?"

"Avoid everybody I know," she sighs, like she has any actual intention of doing that this time. The one issue is that Betty will go ballistic if she hears what happened. That's the only joke there. "Uh—I'll probably go home, talk campaign strategy, see about adapting extraterrestrial antibiotics to humans, infect myself with said bacteria to test the antibiotics... Same old."

Elton smiles and looks forward as they drive into Lake Wonder's downtown. "You know, Tiff, that's probably exactly what I expected you to do."

"It's not my fault people around me keep contracting extraterrestrial illnesses," she laughs. "I'm no Dr. Garber."

"I have no idea who that is."

"Classic mad scientist type. Did some research on extraterrestrial parasites. Very unethical practices. Got murdered." She shrugs.

He looks around at the small mountain town and nods. "I hope we have a quiet time here. I'm in need of it. So if you could not hunt any necromancers for a while, that'd be great."

"I don't get a choice, Ellie. It's my job." She turns down a road that she knows will take her where they need to go. It's just a little weird to drive it in a car. "This is my town, though. I don't need to drag anyone else into it. Except Darius, if he's around." She sighs. "I should stop mentioning people like you know who they are."

Elton laughs. "I don't think you'll ever stop, Tiff. I hope to meet all of them, though."

"I sure hope you don't listen to Vexed Angel, because that's going to be weird."

"I don't," he assures her.

She breathes a sigh of relief. "Thank god. Remind me where I'm taking you again?"

Looking at his phone, he checks his email for his reservation. "Um, I think it's just called The Lake Wonder Inn. Do you guys have any other hotels?"

"We only have one hotel. Three stories. Weird rat urban legends. The works."

He shrugs. "Guess that's where I'm going then."

"You know, you could stay with me. We have the room." She's pretty sure she already offered, somewhere between here and Canada.

"It's okay, Tiff. I want my own space, I think. Besides, who knows what will happen between Ben and I."

"Gross."

"Psh. It's not gross."

"It's gross! I'm right!"

"Whatever! Maybe here you are, but I happen to be the coolest fucker in Beaverdell."

"I thought that was Hickory Tom. From the diner."

"He is not cooler than me."

"I don't know..."

"At least not now. Has he fought a necromancer?"

"Who knows? Probably not, though." For the sake of snappiness, she bites back a tangent on normalcy and the other 97% of the population. She also doesn't point out how Hickory Tom saw her doodles of fearsome critters on a napkin at the diner and started rambling to her about his experiences with getting drunk and hunting Hidebehinds. Elton can have his moment.

She turns down the side road that takes them to the hotel and parks outside of it. Hands still on the wheel, she looks over at Elton. "You good?"

He sighs and looks back to Dingus, then back to Tiff. "Yeah. I'm good. Let's do lunch tomorrow."

Not giving her a chance to answer, he opens the door and gets his bag from the bag. Calling for Dingus, who gives Kepler one last lick on the face, Elton looks at the hotel and takes a breath. He turns back to look at Tiff and waves as he walks towards the hotel entrance. "Talk to you later!"

She cups her mouth and yells back to him through a hastily-rolled-down window, "I'm going to be in the morgue!"

He just waves without looking at her as he walks into the hotel, laughing.

A licked and upset Kepler takes his rightful place in the passenger's seat and slouches into it, folding his arms.

Grinning in something bittersweet and hopeful, Tiff reaches over to scratch the top of his head gently. "Come on, bud. Let's get home and see about Aunt Esther. Then we'll figure out how to get my shit back from the Bone Zone."