three moments

a poster

The next day, there was a lunchtime election campaign going on in college, and I was also chanting slogans. Suddenly, when I glanced towards the gate, I saw Dipika riding an auto, perhaps heading back from her coaching classes. I stopped and observed her quietly. After leaving the campaign, I went to my department. I couldn't explain why I was feeling so strange, a feeling that I couldn't put into words. It seemed as though I was shattered, yet my eyes were welling up with tears. I collected myself and a few moments later, my friend Dipak called me. He asked me to come to Hall No. 2.

He said, "Hey, where have you been staying these days?"

I replied jokingly, "I live in your girlfriend's heart, bro."

He became upset.

Dipak's classmate Divakar whispered, "Bro, what did you say? You've created a scene between them."

"Why? Is a breakup on the horizon?"

"He's on that path."

I took out my phone and started playing sad songs by Arjit Singh. Dipak's face turned as red as a tomato. When we all saw his expression, we burst into loud laughter. Dipak sat there like a statue, not saying anything. My classmate Govardhan even started taking his photo. After taking the photo, he said, "Hey, the photo came out great. Should I post it in the college group?"

Dipak remained silent. I felt he was taking it quite hard, so I apologized to him. He smiled and said, "It's okay, bro. Friends are meant to tease each other."

"What did you think? I was genuinely apologizing?" I burst into laughter.

He grinned and replied, "I wasn't being serious either, huh!"

Govardhan: "Hey, Rajat, these days you're often seen with the college politicians in class."

Rajat: "Yeah... So?"

Govardhan: "Well, if your attendance drops below 75%, they won't let you sit for the exams."

Rajat: "And?"

Govardhan: "And what, if that continues, they might not allow you to sit for the final semester exams."

Rajat: "Hey, I've managed to reach 35% now."
Govardhan: "What?"
Rajat: "Yeah, bro..."
Govardhan: "How do you know?"
Rajat: "Well, that's the benefit of hanging out with politicians. You get to know everything before time."
Divakar: "That's true, bro."

Govardhan: "But how did it drop from 75% to 35%?"
Rajat: "Our attendance belongs to the group below 75%."
Govardhan: "And you're the reason it's 35%?"
Rajat: "Oh, it's because our department president said something, and the authorities heard it and agreed."

Govardhan: "So, you've been in contact with the former president from the start?"
Rajat: "Yeah, bro."
Govardhan: "So, whose party are you supporting now?"
Rajat: "A B V P."

Divakar: "Oh, okay. After a while, there's going to be an A E C C class. Who among us will do it?"
Govardhan: "The three of us are, but not sure about Rajat."
Divakar: "Alright, let's go today."

Govardhan: "Really?"
Divakar: "Yeah, when is the class?"

Govardhan: "It's starting in a few moments."
Divakar: "Let's go then."

We went to the hall where the class was about to start shortly. We settled in the back benches. Everyone started preparing their notes. I was looking at an old photo of Dipika on my phone. Suddenly, Govardhan's gaze fell on my phone's screen, and he read what was there.

He asked, "Who's this?"
I replied, "The one I used to talk about every day."

Dipak chimed in, "Hey, why are you looking at it now? What if the professor sees?"

Govardhan: "Dude, focus on your work. You've been around for so long, yet you've never shown us even a single photo of her. Despite asking you a thousand times, today you're sitting in class and looking at her photo?"

I paused a little and then started explaining, "You know, something feels strange today. In all these years, it has never happened that I saw her and got emotional. I've never told her what's in my heart, and maybe I won't be able to, because..."

Dipak chimed in, "Hey, just tell her once. If she takes you seriously, great. If not, that's fine too. Why? Because you keep saying where I am and she is... If you can't gather the courage to express your feelings, you might regret it later."

Govardhan: "Dipak, what do you know about this? Every year, you end up having a new girlfriend. You probably have never even spoken to her. But in your world of imagination, you've decorated everything over four years that you haven't been able to decorate since your childhood."

Divakar added, "Whatever it is... but you should find out, right? Because if you don't tell her, how will you know what she feels about you? What does she think of you? If she doesn't say anything, then your heart will stop decorating the world of memories in a few days. And if she does..."

Govardhan: "You're right, man. I might regret it in the future if I don't tell her."

After class, when I got home, I started thinking, "Should I tell her? Nah, her NEET exam is next month, she must be really stressed. If I go to talk to her about my feelings after her NEET, will she listen? What if she says no?"

This question wasn't anything new in my heart. It had been lingering there for a while now, always resurfacing. However, this time, I had to make a decision. I was at a crossroads – unable to move forward in either direction. After much contemplation, I finally decided that I shouldn't think about her anymore. I rejected the idea of entertaining thoughts about her in my mind. I didn't know if this decision was right or wrong. I made up my mind to delete all the carefully collected photos of her on my phone. I thought that by doing so, I would prevent myself from getting emotional by looking at her photo again. I had no idea what consequences this decision would bring, but at that moment, it felt right to me. Little did I know that I was wrong, as I had engraved so much in my heart that it was impossible to forget so easily.

For an entire month, I couldn't stop thinking about her. Eventually, my heart grew weary. I had learned one thing from that experience – when you earnestly desire someone, when you deeply love someone, the universe doesn't necessarily conspire to make it happen. Instead, it teaches you a lesson: don't rely too much on the world, because as humans, we do hold a bit of hope, and it's essential for us to have it. Hope is like poison; just as poison can kill a person when consumed, hope can destroy someone from within when it's shattered. That's why we need to keep our hopes in check. We can't entirely abandon hope, because, somewhere, the human world revolves around hope.

A month later,

When I reached college, I noticed that some posters were being put up for the cultural fest...