Taking Back control Of My Life

fearing the unknown

Lena's: POV
I can't believe how bad the snow is coming down. The weather didn't mention anything about a blizzard, now we're stuck in this log cabin, the phone lines are down
I can't even call and check in the kids
At least we have enough fire wood to last us for a few days. This whole thing is causing me to have a mild anxiety attack, Stef is still asleep upstairs. I hate having to wake her up, l took a seat at the table and take some deep breaths. Trying to block out the thoughts that keep running through my mind, l know they can't hurt me anymore
It's been ten years since the attack. Maybe it's because of the case Stef was working on recently, l tried to calm myself down
I have my head in my hands. Everything was going so well, my therapist said l would experience flash backs every now and then
I just didn't think it would happen so suddenly. Sometimes it feels like the walls are closing in on me, l felt somebody hand on my back. I know it's Stef cause I know her scent anywhere, l held my head up and see the concern look on her face. Love l'm okay Lena said, baby talk to me please Stef asks me, l kept replay the day over in my mind. Thinking about how l could did things differently, l see their faces in my dreams. I'm sorry I didn't tell you Lena says to her wife. You know what affects you it affects me to, don't try to hide what you're feeling. Talk to me Stef said to Lena
I keep having flashbacks about the night l was attacked over in my mind, how Rick held me down while they each took turns
No matter how loud I screamed. They wouldn't stop, Rick said he was going to fuck me straight. All l could hear was them
Laughing, l tried to fight him off but he was too strong. Every time l beg josh to stop
He would keep on me going Lena States
Stef had tears in her eyes as she listened to Lena tell the story of what happened the night at the party. I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you from those sick bastards baby
Stef replied, no it's not your fault sweetheart you were sick with the flu
I knew l should have listen to my instincts
Lena knew Stef blamed herself for not being there. It affected both women in different ways but it changed their lives
in some ways it brought them closer, even though it took place ten years ago. That's why Stef become a cop to get justice for women who experienced the trauma Lena went through,