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38

CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT ❦ AURELIA
I don't know exactly at which point I couldn't take the nauseating feeling spreading through my body anymore,

But all I know is that I just emptied everything I ate today in this goddamn toilet, memories spring to my mind, same old days, except it's not.

I don't think this was even a normal body reaction because I hadn't eaten anything for the past four hours, it's probably because of sadness.

I've experienced such a thing last year when I got my marks back, I heave further into the toilet and my stomach roils, telling me that it's officially empty.

Tears spring from my eyes from the intensity of it, and I don't even realize that someone is behind me until I feel Elias's familiar scent engulfing my nostrils and his fingers holding my hair back up.

The urge to cry harder spikes but I ignore it as I finally finish off the torture and breathe out in disgust before flushing the toilet and grabbing the toothbrush that's now mine.

Brushing frantically my whole mouth, trying to get the taste off my tongue, Elias is just silent beside me, but he's here that's enough to comfort me and he knows it.

After what seems like minutes of deep brushing my teeth, I shut down the facet and turn to face Elias, craning my neck as I ignore the pounding of my heart in my ears.

"What are you doing here?" I ask in a raspy tone due to being asleep a couple of minutes ago, his eyes hold no remorse, almost like before.

"I heard you, I got worried." He says casually and I absorb his words, nodding, out of words, "Come along, Aurelia." No sweetheart, no gentleness, I suck in a breath and follow him.

He's suffering and all you care about is the way he's talking to you, the words are so loud in my mind to the point where I physically startle, walking along the hallway with Elias.

We arrive in front of the kitchen and I look at him for an explanation but as normal he doesn't offer one as he walks towards the fridge, opens it, and grabs a bar of Snickers.

My lips part as I inspect the carton lying inside the fridge, the possibility of it being for me is high since he claimed that he doesn't like it and only eats it when we're sharing one,

He opens it then cuts it into pieces, comfort spreads through my body uncontrollably as he places one in my hand, "I'm not hungry." I admit, it's not that I'm not, it's the fact that seeing him like this, being almost a different person is heartbreaking, It swallows any appetite I have inside of me.

I just can't control how I'm feeling, "You need it, Aurelia, I understand that it might be hard but I'm eating with you, sweetheart." He grits his teeth the moment the nickname slips out, telling me that it wasn't intentional.

I nod slowly, knowing that I have no way out of this, I chew on it, "I want to hear you talk." He admits, voice lowering, I clear my throat, "What would you like to talk about?"

Awkward wouldn't be the right word to describe this, tense maybe would? I have no idea, but it just feels fucking hard to act normally, genius, because things aren't close to being normal.

And I don't know if they ever will be.

I wouldn't be surprised, but I'm taking every chance I have, while before I pushed and pushed Elias all the way until I finally fell for him, I'm taking every single chance to not lose him.

Not lose us.

But mainly, I want to be there for him when he's going through this even....if it'll mean that I won't be there moving on, but right now he needs someone even if he's too arrogant to admit it.