Roommates ~ Tom Kaulitz

Roommates (18)

Chapter Seventeen

I froze at his words, I was unable to move. Sure I already knew that he loved me, but hearing him say those words to me personally was unexpected.

I felt his breath getting warmer and closer to me, I didn't move, I couldn't.

He softly pecked me, I didn't react at first, and I was still in state of shock.

He pulled back, confusion and hurt written in his eyes.

"I'm sorry..." I murmured feeling guilty all of a sudden.

"No, it's okay, I shouldn't have done that. I thought you felt the same way but I guess not..." he trailed off and slowly paced around the room scratching the back of his head. He smiled sheepishly at me.

"Tom, I-"I started before he cut me off.

"Maybe we should head back to where Jay is I-"he continued.

"To-"

"This wasn't a good idea, I messed things up" interrupted Tom once again.

"Tom! Listen to me!" I yelled; he jumped at my sudden outburst.

I stood up and walked towards him, I placed the palm of my hand on his cheeks before continuing, "Listen to me Tom, I love you, I don't know if it's as a friend or more but I know that I love you. I just need time..." Tom was about to interrupt but I shook my head and pressed my finger against his rosy, soft pink lips, "And I don't want to go, not just yet. I need time away from that bitch Gina and besides, it will be a waste of money. So how about we just have fun and forget what just happened, yes?" I asked Tom raising my brow.

He smiled gently, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. I sighed.

"What time is it?" I asked, trying to keep his mind off the incident that occurred several seconds ago.

Tom took out his phone, "Half seven" he yawned.

I felt uncomfortable with the tense atmosphere between us, it was awkward, and I didn't like it. I wasn't used to it.

"Tom" I groaned.

"What is it?" asked Tom concerned.

"Don't do this to me!"

"Do what?" he yelled.

"You know what!" I argued back, hating the fact that we were like this from a stupid kiss.

"Kiss you? Well last time I tried to kiss you, you seemed as eager as I was! It's not my fault I love you! I can't control my feelings Y/n!"

I couldn't stand to see Tom in all this pain, tears were forming.

"-"I hesitated.

"I'll sleep on the couch; you can have the bed to yourself." Tom murmured ignoring my gaze, he turned around preparing to close the door that split the bedroom from the small living room we had. I grabbed his arm.

"Stay with me Tom," I pleaded.

He turned around confused.

"I need time to think Tom, and maybe if you're next to me it could be easier for me," I explained, although that wasn't really much of a good explanation.

He nodded in understandment; I quickly changed into my pyjamas and slipped into bed.

I shifted on the bed, my legs and arms sprawled apart. The binding light of the sun was burning my eyes; I rubbed them furiously with my arm and shifted in the bed.

I hit something hard, rock hard. Turning round I realised it was Tom who was snoring peacefully, half naked may I add, in my bed next to me.

I turned to face him and stared at him, my hand holding my face. I smiled sweetly, did I love him? Did I love him more than I friend? Could I see myself being more than I friend? My body and heart yearned for him...I couldn't stand losing him.

Does that mean I'm in love with him?

Yes.

I knew I was, but yet something stopped me yesterday from expressing my feelings. Was it the fact that I was too scared? Was it that fact that he knew too much about my past that it frightened me that someone else knew about my past, or was it the fear that when Tom told the story about a couple killing his parents I was almost certain that it was mine.

If that was true, would he still see me the way he sees my now?

Will he still be able to look at me?

Will he still love me?

I felt Tom shift around the bed and he slowly opened his eyes.

"Morning sunshine," I smiled at him, ruffling his head.

"Urgh..." he groaned, "what time is it?" he asked getting up.

I couldn't help notice the way his muscles moved when he sat up, I gawked like a retarded owl. He caught me looking and chucked lightly sending tingles through my body.

"Like what you see?" he asked.

I blushed and smiled, glad that Tom was back to his old self.

"Nope," I retorted grabbing the pillow and hitting him lightly with it.

"Oh no you didn't," Tom growled playfully and grabbed his pillow preparing to attack me.

I let out a little giggle and grabbed my pillow preparing to defend myself.

We had a little pillow fight and I pushed him to the bed making myself fall hard on top of him.

I stopped giggling and stared into his dark brown eyes.

This time it was me who leant forward.

Should I risk it?

Just to see how I feel?

Did I really love him?

I leant towards him, my lips inches away from his. I felt nervous, yet I could feel a pinch of desire.

I closed the gap between us, at first it was a slight brush of the lips, I could tell Tom was as shocked and nervous as I felt, but then it became something more.

It was different, lustful, burning with passion and desire. The kiss deepened, it was filled with love. His arm snaked around my waist pulling myself toward him, he pulled his head upwards yearning for me, desiring for more. I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him by his dreadlocks, his hand which was on my waist move towards my tank top tugging it off.

"Tom," I gasped, breathless.

"Hmm?" Groaned Tom, kissing my neck and then slowly caressing my jawbone.

"I-I love you." I finally said, and knew that it was true.

"As I love you," replied Tom with a smile.