metal/grunge/rock oneshots bc why not

Going to the food store with acillatem

It's quite an adventure.
1983
Y/n - ur name

"I'm heading off to the grocery store." I say as I grab my keys and open the front door.

"For what?" Kirk asks, sitting up in his seat.

"Candy. We have none here." I glance back at him.

"Candy?!" Lars runs down the stairs, and stares at me with wide eyes. I look at him up and down crazily.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I give him a confused look.

"You said candy. I want candy. I'm coming with." He quickly slides his shoes on, and stares at me.

"Can I come?" Kirk stands up and turns the tv off. I groan.

"Is it because lars is going?" I ask with an eyebrow raised.

"Noo.. I want candy too." Suddenly, James and Cliff walk in from another room, in the middle of a conversation.

"Really? Can't you get it any other time? I have to deal with him and you?" I lean against the door frame, and watch as he starts putting his shoes on.

"What's happening? Where are we going?" James stops talking to Cliff, and gestures to Kirk, Lars, and I.

"We, are going to the grocery store." I reply, hoping him and Cliff won't tag along.

"Really? Sweet, I need deodorant." James shrugs, and throws a can of Coke away.

"You have got to be kidding me." I sigh. I glance towards Cliff.

"Are you coming too?"

"Eh. Why not."

"Jesus fucking Christ. Let's go children." I spin my arm in a circle, and walk out the house and to my car. I get in the drivers seat, with Cliff sitting in the passenger, Lars sitting behind me, Kirk in the middle, and James behind Cliff.

"Why do I have to sit in the middle? I should sit in the front!!" Kirk starts complaining as I back out of the driveway.

"You wanted to come." I say, and start driving away from the house.

"Turn on some music. I don't wanna hear Kirk talk." James grumbles from the back. I roll my eyes, and put on a random radio station.

"Ew, not this one." I glance at James through the mirror, and change the station.

"Ew, not this one either."

"There's like five fucking stations that come through, we don't have many options you dickhead." I groan.

"Put on a cassette." Cliff says.

"Ouuhhh, do you have an Iron Maiden one? I have like five of their songs stuck in my head right now." Lars chirps from behind me.

"I dunno. Check the glove box." I focus on driving, and Lars messes around in the glovebox, looking for some Iron Maiden.

"Ugh, you have nothing good." He grumbles, and kicks my seat as he leans back.

"Maybe you don't have good taste you asshat." I close the glovebox, and wait at a red light.

"Hey! Don't call me that!" Lars pouts at me, and I smack his knee.

"Excuse you! Rude!" The Danish twat kicks my seat again, and I turn around to glare at him.

"Stop kicking my seat or I'll kick you out, asshat." He pouts at me again.

"Like you would do anything." He crosses his arms and looks away. A car from behind us honks, and I look up to see the light changed to green.

"Fuck, oops." I hit the gas, and turn up the radio to drown out Lars' bitching and moaning.

Finally, we get to Walmart, and I park the car.

"Are you guys gonna behave??" I ask like the single mom I am.

"Yess," mostly everyone says, but lars, like the little bitch he is, doesn't.

"Nah." He kicks my seat again.

"Y/n's gonna beat you up." James mumbles as he gets out of the car. I get out, and so does lars. I grab him, and put his head on the back of my car.

"Listen here you little Danish son of a bitch, your not gonna act like an asshole for once, and your gonna just be calm, got it?" I hiss in his ear.

"Yes! Yes! I swear!" Fear floods his voice, and I roll my eyes, and walk away.

"Come on children." I hear them all following me, and Lars mutters something to Kirk, which makes him start giggling.

"Can we get a pet fish?" Lars asks, and we haven't even made it into Walmart yet.

"What the fuck kinda question is that." Cliff whips his head around and glares at Lars as he starts to cackle to himself.

"Good one." Kirk high-fives Lars, and they both giggle to each other.

"So gay.." James mutters, and I shake my head. Eventually, we make it into the building, and I grab a basket. Cliff goes to look at the books, James goes to look for his deodorant, and of course I get stuck with the two nit-wits.

"Can we pleeeeaaaassseeeee get a fish??" Kirk starts to beg me.

"Why do you want a fish? What purpose does the fish serve?" I grab a couple of bags of candy, while Kirk and Lars talk about why we should get a fish.

"It would be beneficial to the whole focking household." Lars emphasizes this by moving his hands in big motions. I shake my head and sigh.

"Just grab a bag of candy." I pinch the bridge of my nose.

"For real? Fock yeah!" Instead of one, he grabs like five different ones. He slowly puts them in the basket as I glare at him.

"I said one."

"Four plus one is five?" He snickers to himself, and grabs Kirks hand to runway with his princess. I roll my eyes.

Finally, James returns with his deodorant, as well as a magazine that says, 'how to get buff in five minutes.' I read the title, and look at James.

"Why?"

"Why not." He shrugs. I decide not to question it anymore, and just put it in the basket. Cliff makes his way back with a couple of books. One is called 'how to bring Lucifer back.' The other is called 'how to get away with murder.' I fearfully put them in the basket.

The three of us make our way to the checkout, as Kirk and Lars run up to us with fish food.

"Pleeeeeaseeeee!!" Kirk begs again.

"We literally don't even have a fucking fish." Cliff facepalms, and sighs.

"That's why we should get one!" Lars chimes in.

"We. Are. Not. Getting. A. Fucking. Fish. End of discussion. You already got like fifty bags of candy, we are not getting a fish." I growl at him. He puts his hands on his hips, and purses his lips at me.

"Whatever mom." Kirk does the same, and they both sashay away to go put the fish food back.

"What the fuck is wrong with them." I shake my head for the 19284839 time today, and put my stuff up to scan. Eventually Lars and Kirk come back, and angrily pout at me everytime I look at them. I ignore them.

I pay, grab the bags, and we all leave. As I load the car up, and get back in, Lars and Kirk start their tangent about the fish again.

"Should've gotten it." Lars huffs.

"We're still on this?" I grumble as I put on my seatbelt.

"Justice for the fish." Kirk says and crosses his arm.

"That would be a sick album name." James comments.

"What the fuck is wrong with all of you."

—————

Wow that was eventful. Hope you enjoyed. That's probably the last I'll do of Metallica for a hot minute unless one of you guys suggests something to me. Also, Kirk and Lars begging for a fish just sounds so #klars to me. Klars goals tbh.

- jenny 😉

Word count - 1298