LIVE

CHAPTER 11: KIMI

Julius and I enter my apartment as we hear Cupcake barking from her kennel. 

"Cupcake, hush. I'm coming silly." I set my purse down and walk over to Cupcake's kennel to let her out. As always, she runs around the living room and proceeds to jump on Julius for attention. I turn around as I see him sitting on the couch and petting her. 

 Sigh.

I start to think about Marigold again. Every time I try to focus on something else, the stream keeps replaying in my head. As it starts to become unbearable to think about, tears start to form in my eyes and fall down my cheeks. My knees start to become weak as I begin to sob uncontrollably.

Shit. Don't fall. 

"Kimi..." Julius immediately gets up from the couch and holds me as I feel myself losing balance. He catches me as I fall into his embrace. 

"Take it easy babe. How about I lay you down and let me take care of Cupcake. I'll give her some food and take her for a walk. Dante and Jason are at Walmart picking up the stuff we need for the BBQ tonight. I asked Dante to make sure to pick up your favorite snacks too."

Julius smiled and rubbed the back of my head as he stroked my hair. He moved it behind my shoulders then wiped my tears off my chin. 

 "You won't have to worry about a thing tonight. Just relax and take it easy. The guys and I will probably have some drinks. You are valid to grieve in whatever way that will make you feel better; I just want you to know that you don't have to do it alone, Kimi." 

I look up at Julius for a mere moment before I lay my head on his chest during our embrace. His head perfectly sits above mine. I'm pretty short compared to him.

"I think you're right. Maybe I should lay down and rest before we eat dinner. Maybe I'll be more social later. I just can't believe it. The stream keeps replaying in my head, Julius. Marigold was my best friend. She didn't deserve this. No-one deserves this. Why her?" 

"Thiccums, you're right. No-one deserves this. It's still a fucked-up mystery as to why this is all happening. It's like... our lives have all changed in the blink of an eye. I wish I had the answers, but I'm still trying to figure it out, myself."

 I back away from Julius's embrace and walk over to one of my end tables to grab a tissue to blow my nose. "Yeah. Tell me about it."

"Dang, I should have grabbed the tissues before holding you." Julius looks to the side and rubs the back of his head in embarrassment. 

"Ah, it's okay. Don't worry about it. I'm just grateful that you were here to catch me. Otherwise, I'd probably be on the floor, curled in a ball all night."

Julius looks up with a heartwarming gaze. "I will always catch you." 

There's a bit of an awkward silence for a couple moments between us. I kind of forgot that Julius and I shared a kiss last night. I just don't know what we are yet. However, right now is not the time for romance. It can wait a little bit longer. I don't want to be with Julius to distract myself from the pain and all the crazy stuff going on. If we're going to be together, it's because I genuinely want to be with him. There's also another problem too. 

Dante. 

"Hey, Dante just texted me and said they're on the way back from Walmart," Julius says as he locks his phone and sits down on my couch. 

"Okay. I think I'll take a hot shower and maybe do my makeup. I don't feel like sleeping anymore to be honest. I thought I wanted to be alone, but I kind of want to hang out with you all. It might be healthier instead of shutting everyone out."