If I'm there

Three

"am I hurting you , at all?" Nicholas looked up from the tattoo gun.
"No stupid. Keep going. I like the pain anyway. It's a good kind of feeling." I placed my hands behind the nape of my neck in an attempt to get comfortable.
"How's everything with the baby?" He asked adjusting his hand on my thigh.
"Eh ya know, it's been great. Mia is a great kid. No walking yet. Excessive crawling though. She tries to EAT EVERYTHING" I softly laugh.
"but how is Noah ... how are you guys?"
I sigh,
"We are okay, tour is coming up and I'm afraid he is gonna miss Mias first steps because he is gone and I'm gonna miss him and his help and I feel like that's so selfish to say." I cleared my throat. "our wedding is in the middle of tour I have to potentially leave Mia with my dad for our honey moon.. " My voice trailed off.
"Damn.. I'm sorry lil. I know it's hard. but you aren't being selfish by saying that. For what it's worth, we miss you just as much. Touring has never been the same since you came to use our bus bathroom that day." He chuckles.

As the tattoo gun continued its rhythmic buzz, Nicholas shared a reassuring smile. "You know, pain can sometimes be a strange comfort," he remarked, his focus returning to his work.

I shifted slightly, trying to find a more comfortable position, and grinned. "Yeah, there's something about it that's oddly satisfying."

His hand on my thigh felt grounding, and his next question shifted the conversation. "Mia sounds like a handful, but a joyful one," he said with a chuckle. "Kids have a way of keeping life interesting. Too bad we couldn't take you guys with us. how are you? Like really? "

"Yeah, she's a bundle of energy," I agreed, a fondness evident in my tone."wait, what if we did come on tour?" I avoided the question.

Nicholas paused, a hint of intrigue in his eyes. "You mean, bring Mia along on tour?"

I considered the idea, a glimmer of hope lighting up my thoughts. "I mean, it's crazy, but maybe not impossible. If we could find a way to make it work,"
I let out a sigh, my emotions spilling out. "I just wish I could be in two places at once. With Noah when he needs me, and here for Mia's milestones."

As we continued chatting, the conversation shifted toward music and travel. "So, Nicholas, what's been your favorite place to perform on tour?"

His eyes lit up, and he leaned back, momentarily forgetting the tattooing. "Oh, that's a tough one. Each place has its unique vibe , you know? But I have to say, there's something magical about performing in intimate venues where you can feel the crowd's energy up close." He smiled.
"Really?" I make eye contact leaning up slightly.
"Absolutely," he agreed. "And the unexpected moments, like when fans share their stories and how our music has touched their lives, that's what keeps us going. It makes me beyond happy, it's so crazy we can form connections with people you've never met."
I nodded in understanding what he was saying.
"I guess that makes sense. I'd never thought of it that way." I say over the buzz of the gun.

"Noah didn't tell me about the tour with motionless." I looked at the beige ceiling blinking slowly.
"he didn't? He tells you everything. He told us that he told you." Nic said causing me to raise up.
"HE FUCKING SAID WHAT-?"
I look at him in disbelief. " I'm gonna fuckin kill him."
"Please do not." He chuckles.
"How will Chris and the rest of motionless react to me bringing Mia?" I worried.
"I'm sure they would be fine with it, Justin would get it. He's a dad. " Nicholas shrugged.
"He is? I had no idea. he doesn't strike me as a dad. More like big brother material" I laughed.
Nicholas continued tattooing my thigh, occasionally sighing.
For a while I watched him in utter silence before my eyes started to get heavy.
"How long has it been since you've gotten sleep?" He softly asks.
"two days.. three..?" I exhale.
"I'm sorry."
"it's okay.. I'm not even.." I trailed off before my eyes fully shut leaving nic by himself to finish my tattoo.

Nic's pOv

As I continued working on the piece I'd drawn for Lillian, I couldn't help but steal glances at her, letting my eyes shift from the tattoo and her face, wondering what she'd been dreaming about.
Her features were relaxed in sleep, a stark contrast to the fire that burned in her eyes when awake. I hope she finds peace in this moment, I thought, my eyes tracing the lines of the tattoo as they formed a meaningful design on her thigh.

Her even breathing provided a calming backdrop to
my thoughts
I hum along to the music that had been playing in the back ground , occasionally wiping her thigh.
I had let my eyes trace the contours of her face, the gentle curve of her Cupids bow and the lines of exhaustion that had under-toned her eyes. 
she'd became a mom for a child that wasn't her own because her heart couldn't handle any other out come for Mia.
she'd always been the one person I knew who always put everyone else first before herself.
  sometimes I think she forgot that she was human too and needed to rest.
her arms shifted slightly, then a subtle sigh escaped her.
A smile tugged at my face, as I shifted from Lillian's face back to her thigh.
she'd become a huge part in not just my life but everyone else's too. she'd been there for everything, without ever doubting what we could achieve. she made us even closer than we thought we'd be. she made us a family. I could never repay her for that.
My feelings for her never faded, I couldn't let them. But I'm glad she is marrying Noah. he is a good choice for her. For Mia too.
if I have to pass on her to see her happy then so be it.

Returning to her thigh, I found myself lost in introspection. Lillian had become a big part of our lives. Her support and unbreakable faith in us had bridged the gap between friends and family. We were bound together not just by circumstance, but by the shared experiences that had shaped us.

She had made us believe in ourselves, in our ability to overcome challenges and celebrate victories. It was as if she had singlehandedly transformed a group of individuals into a tightly knit family. The gratitude I felt for her was immeasurable, a debt that I knew could never truly be repaid.

As my hands worked on the tattoo, my heart echoed with a truth I had long come to accept. My feelings for her had never left.

Noah was a good guy. Someone who would undoubtedly provide her and Mia with the love and stability they deserved. I couldn't help but be glad for her, even if it meant acknowledging my own feelings and setting them aside. I wanted nothing more than to see her happy, to witness her flourishing, marrying my best friend.

If letting her go was what it took for her to find that happiness, then I was willing to make that sacrifice. The notion stung, but it was a pain born of love and understanding. Her well-being was my priority, and I found solace in the knowledge that she had found a partner who cherished her as much as I did.
A part of me would always love her.