If I'm there

Eleven

we had all piled back into the car and went back to chris' house just before dark.
the car ride there was mainly quiet with the occasional chatter of liyah and laney. Was I really letting my mom guilt and jealousy get in the way of my friends?
I felt so guilty for my attitude toward everyone on the tour and in my family, but it's something I couldn't bring myself to say out loud until someone finally see passed the charade I'd been keeping up.
"THEYRE BACK-!" nick raised his beer.
"hello gorgeous" Noah smiles grabbing me by my waist.
"Well hello handsome. wanna help me pack these in?" I say lifting the twelve bags on my arms.
why twelve? My father didn't raise a two trip bitch. it was all or nothing.
"It looks like you've got it though, babe" he chuckles.
I shoot him a glare that reminds him this is who he decided to marry.
"You were gone forever, WHAT TOOK YOU SO DAMN LONG?!" Justin whined.
"we got lost and had to drag laney out of target." I say with a funnily straight expression.
"WHOS GRILLIN?" Chris asks
"I vote you, my dude." Jolly leans against the counter. "Laney says you're a bomb ass cook."
"LET HIM GRILL." Noah laughed.
"I'll... be upstairs if anyone needs me." I nearly whisper starting up the brown hardwood stairs.
"Just be quiet when you go up, Mia is napping." Chris warned me.

NICs POV :
I'd felt bad for her. Genuinely. Lillian didn't feel herself and you could tell. she'd completely forgotten how to be the way she was. I know Noah was trying his best and everything, but damn. She needed a break.
"I'll.. be upstairs if anyone needs me.." Lillian sighed miserably.
she was holdin back tears and I couldn't help but feel sorry for her.
two hours has passed and no one even noticed how she'd went upstairs and didn't join in on anything we were doing like it was just.. fuckin.. normal.
"has anyone even noticed that Lillian's still upstairs ?" I blurted trying to hide my concern and anger.
The circle of chairs where my friends were sitting fell silent.
"I'm sure she's fine man." Aliyah looks over to me.
"Yeah nic, she'd surely say if something was up" jolly followed.
"no one has checked on her, no one even noticed she was upset when we got back. she's been quiet half the day." I growled " she feels alone, and that's where we've left her. she has so much mom guilt and friend guilt and fuckin spouse guilt right now. It's so bad she felt like a pathetic piece of shit when she opened up about it." I stood. "And since no one else is gonna bother to pay attention, I'm gonna go see if she's okay."
I raged up the stairs, making sure to quietly open the door.
"Hey kid." I peek around the door frame of the bathroom , finding Lillian with her knees tucked to her chest. "Lil.. you okay?" I ask, already knowing my answer.
Sniffles leading up to a blubbering "..n..nn...nooo" confirmed what I had already known.
"speak to me pretty girl." I slide down the tub beside her.
"I feel like a bad mom. A bad friend. A bad ...wife." She sobs. " I'm just thinking about myself but I'm doing everything for everyone else and no one even notices nic."
"I know, I know." I tried."but you are a fantastic person Lillian. I'm sure everyone realizes that too. Although they can be dense idiots ever so often. I mean you remember your wedding"
She sniffled again, "yeah everyone ended standing in the wrong spot because half of us are dyslexic. " she laughed.
"You are truly wonderful lil. Come down for a little bit. It's dull without you" I smile standing up and heading toward the door. I'd made it my goal to always fix her like she fixed noah. Because even a healer needs a healer.

Lillian's pov :
FLASHBACK -

The morning sunlight filtered through the curtains, casting a warm glow across the room. I was getting ready to marry the man I'd slammed into at warped tour so many years ago. My heart raced, trying to pound out of my chest.
Laney carefully pulled up my hair pinning it to my head in elegant waves, while expertly applying makeup to my face to enhance all of my features.
"You look amazing, lil." She sighed