I've Never Stopped Loving Chris Mallon

CH 9 - A Friend

I search the school for Riley, but she's nowhere to be seen. Not in the library where she spends most of her time, and not in the classroom where she's supposed to be. She didn't come to school today. Is it because of what happened in the cafeteria? She seemed upset the last time I saw her. I have to apologize. I hate that she was hurt because of me. Because of my stupid need not to feel so alone. I vow right here and now that I'll keep to myself. I won't try to make friends anymore. I won't let anyone get hurt because of me again. I give up the search for Riley and go to prepare for the first class.

Chris is leaning against my locker. His eyes are glued to his phone. I can turn around and flee before he sees me. But that would only delay the inevitable. I approach him. He raises his head and sends me one of his shark-like grins. A breath catches in my throat. My legs feel like lead, but I force them to move. We reach the bathroom.

"Did you get them?" he asks.

My throat is closed up and I can't speak. I nod. I hope that's enough.

"Show me."

With shaking fingers, I pull the shirt up.

He stares at the piercings. I've never seen his eyes get so dark. Oh, God, what have I done? I should have gotten the most common ones. I know better than to be defiant. He's going to rip them out. I'm so stupid. Why would I do this to myself? I close my eyes and prepare for the onslaught of pain.

I wince when he tugs on them. I cry out when he twists them. But the pain is not as bad as I thought it would be. Then it stops. I can feel the heat of his palm on my chest, but he isn't moving. I open my eyes. His lips are pulled into a small frown. There is an expression on his face that I can't read. He blinks, and our eyes meet again. He pulls his hand away from my chest as if it burned him. Then he turns around and leaves.

I stare after him. Is it over? Or is he coming back? My nipples were hurting and bleeding because he twisted them. But that's not surprising. The wound is fresh. They start bleeding every time I tug on the shirt to change it and forget about them being caught in it. I expected worse from Chris. I was used to worse. I wait for 10 minutes, but he doesn't come back. I decide not to question my luck.

When lunchtime arrives, I sit at our table. No, not our table. Riley's table. I have to remind myself. As soon as I apologize, I'll find a new place to sit. I fumble with my phone, but it's useless. I don't have her phone number. I can't call her and ask if she's all right. A seat beside mine is pulled out. I raise my head in surprise. Melanie? What is she doing here? She always sits with the Royals.

"I didn't know," she says.

"Huh?" I have no idea what's she talking about.

"That Chris was hurting you. I didn't know. I thought you were friends."

"Friends? But he calls me names." I was so confused.

"I exchange insults with my sister all the time. We don't love each other any less for that. I thought you and Chris were the same." She sighs. "Now I know the whole school knows the truth. I know I was blind not to see what was right in front of me. I'm sorry for being so oblivious. I'm sorry for not being there for you." She takes my hand and entangles our fingers. "But things are going to change. From now on, I'm in your corner. I promise you that."

I blink away the tears that have started forming in my eyes. "Thank you, Melanie." No one has been so kind to me in high school. "Thank you."

"You forgive me then?" she asks.

I squeeze her hand. "There is nothing to forgive." Melanie is such a cheerful and optimistic person. She sees only good in people. It makes sense that she can't tell a difference between hurtful comments and friendly bickering. And it's true that Chris never hurt me physically outside of the bathroom. Until he punched me in the cafeteria. Which Melanie saw and realized what was really going on.