Make Me A Sinner | l.s.

- Thirty-One -

The next morning Louis is struggling to find the words to address last nights events. He knows calling Harry a 'slut' and a 'whore' happened in the heat of the moment, still he feels bad for throwing such words Harry's way. Especially because he didn't say anything about it he's worried that he's too uncomfortable to tell Louis he didn't enjoy it. He's an angel and as dirty as the sex they have sometimes is Louis is sure he overstepped by saying such things.

"Harry.." He starts making the younger boy look up at him from where he sits on the bed eating his cereal. Louis walks over to him sitting down next to him with a sigh. "I wanted to talk about last night.. you know, when we had sex?" He starts a bit nervous and Harry is confused because Louis is never nervous. He's always confident, so naturally he fears he did something wrong and Louis is struggling to tell him.

He swallows his cereal and frowns looking at Louis with fear in his eyes. "Did I do something wrong? You can just tell me, you know? So I can do better next time.." He rambles on and Louis shakes his head with a gentle smile. "No, no Harry. God, you're my perfect little angel, there was nothing you did wrong." Louis is surprised that Harry would immediately assume this was about something he did or didn't do. "It's something that I did.. We didn't really talk about what you like or not." He states a bit unsure. And it's true, they just figured out what the other one liked as they just did it and now Louis is afraid he should've talked to him about it before just throwing it his way.

Suddenly there's a bright smile on Harry's face and he shakes his head pointing at Louis with his spoon. "The smacks to my ass? That was alright, more than alright actually, made me cum. I liked it." He pushes some more cereal into his mouth continuing to eat his breakfast happily and Louis chuckles. "Well yeah I figured that out because you have a pain kink Harry, you get off on pain. That's why you didn't want any prep." He states and Harry nods slowly, Louis knows so much it's quite impressive. Harry tilts his head in confusion. "What's this about then?" He asks, this confused look on his face again. Because if Louis is not talking about him smacking his bum then what else is bothering him?

"Well, I.." He pauses for a moment, contemplating whether to say it or not because Harry doesn't seem to remember, or maybe he just didn't hear him. But Louis comes to the conclusion that it's unlikely that he didn't hear him, he was right next to his ear and if Harry wasn't somewhere else he must've heard. Also he's afraid if it slipped once it'll slip again and he'd rather talk to Harry about it now than insult and upset him on another occasion. "I called you a 'slut'.. and a 'whore'." He says carefully, looking closely at Harry trying to read his expression. Maybe it wasn't that bad.

There's a small frown on Harry's face as he tilts his head. "Oh right.." He blushes madly as he just pushes some more food into his mouth. He hoped they wouldn't talk about that because liking a little pain is one thing but enjoying being called a whore is a bit too much for Harry. He really doesn't want to admit he enjoyed that, he feels so disgusting he can't even look up at Louis as he continues to speak. "I'm really sorry Haz, I didn't want to upset you. My intention wasn't to insult you. I know better now." He gives him a small smile while Harry just looks into the bowl as if it could help him in this situation.

"It's not that, it's just a bit much.." He starts feeling Louis' hand on his arm, gently caressing it for comfort. "You know, I'm just coming to terms with the fact that I like it when it hurts.. what did you call it? A pain kink? Yes, I have a pain kink and I think that's a bit scary but also it's fine, I like it. It's confusing but it's fine." He rambles shaking his head. "I liked it Lou. I hate to admit it but I did. It made me feel so dirty, so.. below you. I feel like a freak. Who likes being called a whore? That's just weird. I'm fucking weird." He stares at his feet trying his best to hold his tears back. It's been a long way to finally accept that he's gay and that he's in love with a boy. Having sex is a lot of fun too but this is just overwhelming. It's filthy and he hates it. He hates himself for feeling that way.