I put my phone down , waiting for notifications from him, or anyone at all , I lay back thinking what itd be like if my life was perfect
But it isn't so I suck it up
I put my airpods in and listen to
Melanie martinez , Lana del ray and more
Because I just want to make myself depressed.
Not like I'm not already but you know.
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
My alarm goes off screaming at me to wake up
I groan it almost turns into a annoyed scream
I throw a tantrum in my bed until i notice xander texted me and I immediately turn and grab my phone
Xander - hey pretty lady
Jess - calm down u have girlfriends already
Xander - so?
Jess - don't need me were just friends anyway?
Xander - right
I put my phone down and get up out of my bed
Regretting that I did I blast Lana del ray on full volume in my room and dress up into my clothes and walk to school cuz it's Thursday duh?
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
As I walk in the corridors of st James highschool
I notice xander with lilly his hands on her hips staring at her lips completely in love.
I sigh and continue walking to lizzie
"Hey how are you lizzie?"
"OH MY GOD HEYY!" she turns and hugs me immediately
I hug back.
"YEAH IM GOOD WHAT ABOUT YOU?"
She screams into my face
"Yeah I'm good and just a reminder, take a deep breath and calm down."
"Oh sorry didn't realise I was being loud" she says
The bell interups our conversation
"See you later lizzie" I blow a kiss 2 her not in a romantic way tho.
I sit down in geography not realising we switched seats so obviously I got told off.
I sit down in my accurate seat and wait for my partner to come sit down beside me.
I realise xander is going my way and sits down
I try not to scream out if happiness
"ALRIGHT STUDENTS PAGE 100 PLS."
I open my book and I feel something on my thigh. I look down and realise his hand is grabbing it , i look at him but he's just looking st the teacher, obviously I take it off and put it on his lap but he's just fighting to put it back on my thigh so I just let him cuz i couldn't be asked to move it over and over again for the 5th time.
He pulls out his phone and starts to text Lilly
Which reads
LILY💗
--------------------
Xander - hey darling.
Xander - I need you rn.
I look away it feels like I'm invading alot of space so obviously I don't look at his phone again
Until he raises his hand and asks to go to the toilet, we all know what's about to happen to him and Lilly I don't know why but I feel jealous , I don't usually feel jealousy.
The lessons finally over and I notice Lilly and xander coming out and Lilly can barely walk I can just tell.
I just wanna start creating a argument out of jealousy I mean I don't like him obviously but he's my friend and like jealousy obviously happens.
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I walk back home and text xander.
XANDER
-----------------------------------------------------------------
jess - xander what were you doing with
Lilly in the bathroom?
Xander - just talking
Jess - sure.
°Read by xander.°
Of course he lies to me
He doesn't like me so I'm not surprised
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I wake up and send a snap to him
Xander - pretty girl 💗
I love speaking to him he makes me feel so comfortable when I do.
I get up carrying my phone watching tiktok and dress up , I walk down the stairs and put on my converse , as I begin to walk outside I feel someone catching up
Xander.
"Hey Jess"
"Oh hi" I say all confused
We continue walking to school in silence once were there he gets greeted by Lilly being all lovely to him and they makeout straight infront of me
I roll my eyes and push through them whilst
I walk up to lizzie
"Hi lizzy"
"Hey jess I have something to tell u"
"What is it?" I ask
"You know Alex right? The blonde one with brown eyes?"
"Yep" I say confused
"Were dating now I liked him for such a long time!"
My heart drops , he used to bully me I'm glad he stopped but obviously it got so brutal he used to slap me and call me useless, my eyes tear up but I still act happy for her so I don't break her heart.
"That's amazing congrats!
"Jess what's w-"
The bell interrupts lizzie
"See you."
I say and walk to English trying to hold the tears back.
I sit down in my seat and slap myself onto my hands sobbing quietly
If that motherfucker does something to lizzie I will break every one of his bones in his body and trust me if I say that then I mean it.
The girl comes and sits down at the desk we both stare at eachother and she finally notices what's going on
"What's wrong Jess?" She hold my arm and rubs my back with her other hand.
I just break down into her shoulder and she just hugs me
"Let's go to the bathroom."
When we finally get there I throw myself into her arms and start sobbing like crazy
I know you might think this is some bullshit right ? You'd get it if you were me.
"Let it all out" she whispers reassuringly.
After a while my tears turns dry and no more can come out.
We don't say a word to each other and she finally breaks the silence by saying "Melanie"
"huh?.." I whisper confused
"Melanie highwell" she says "that's my name."
"Oh ok" I say and just look at her she turns her back and goes to the bathroom door
"Thank you melanie."
I say and she turns around and faces me looking me into my hopeless eyes.
"You're welcome."
