《☆BEFORE WE START ID LIKE TO SAY TYSM, AND THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SH , AND ACHOHOL MISUSE IF UR NOT COMFY PLS SKIP, HERES CHAPTER 11 , AND TYSM FOR 29 READS OMD!!!!☆》
I sit up on my bed , looking at myself in the mirror because I don't have anything else to do , I go on my phone and click Twitter , reading all of the random stupid posts about celebrities most of them about Sam and colby and Ariana Grande, I notice a rumour about Aaron, which is unexpected cuz obviously he isn't a fucking celebrity?
@user8896
Xander apparently got back with jayne, and made out with her in the toilets (his ex , ex)
I look at it confused because who the fuck is she? I look through his followed and find , @jayneermoon
I click on her profile, I can see random posts about different people , fangirling all over them , I bite onto my finger as I scroll , who and why is she dating Xander? He's my boyfriend? Well we never made it official but I'm sure after making out with him like a thousand times.
I slam my phone on my duvet and groan putting my hands over my face, I stand up , and walk over to my bathroom , taking off my clothes, admiring my body and act like a kpop idol for like 10 minutes straight, I finally step in my shower and turn it on , the warm water pressing on my skin
I reach for my towel , and dry myself and put on my pyjamas , I turn the handle and come out the air pushing onto me the moment I do , I slam myself onto my bed and turn on my tv , watching a random YouTube video , and falling asleep
♡♡♡♡
The alarm wakes me up in a large panic , I slide my finger along my phone turning it off, I sit on my bed, everything's blurry and I'm not even half awake, I step out of my bed and walk over to the closet and pick out my clothes ,
Picking out a jumper with stripes , and flaired jeans, I put them on , and do my makeup
Applying mascara and highlighter, I take a photo and post it on insta , blowing up in 5 minutes ,
I walk down my stairs and put my shoes on , leaving my house the breeze hitting me so fast sending a shiver down my body , I walk to school listenting to artic monkeys and humming along to the lyrics , I finally reach my school and I've never been more happy to be in this place
"HI!!!!!" Lizzie screams into my ear I send her w death stare reminding her to keep her voice down because it's killing me
"Oh yeah" she says sounding sorry
"So , how are you?" She asks me
"Amazing , you?" I ask her
"Oooo what happened to xander and you?" She winks at me
I smile at her feeling my cheeks burn and she looks at be flabbergasted, not in a angry way but in a happy way and starts jumping and shouting god knows what.
"Alright , alright calm down, nothing to serious"
I say smiling at her and rolling my eyes
I can hear the bell ring ,
"Alright bye" I say hugging her
She waves goodbye and I walk to class
Sitting next to xander
I just wave at him avoiding eye contact because I'll know that I'll turn into a tomato if I do
"Hey" he says and I missed his deep voice , it sends a shiver down my spine and I bite my lip,
"STUDENTS" MY teacher shouts ,
This day is different though because xander isn't acting all lovely to me , I look at him from time to time to make sure he's okay.
The bell rings again, and I stand from my chair it scraping against the floor , I pick my backpack up and yawn , I open my eyes , and xanders already gone , I start overthinking again , but I just convince myself it's not that ,
Lunchtime comes , and I sit down by my best friend, xander doesn't come. He sits down by his friends, and a girl comes towards him and starts hugging him behind his back, my heart shatters in a thousand pieces. My best friend notices and just whispers
"Its okay." Which makes me happy somehow.
I guess he never liked me in the first place I'm guessing he just used me for my body.
I don't lay a finger on my food, but I don't care anymore because eating isn't a thing that matter right now.
♡♡♡♡
I sit on my bed scrolling on insta,
I find jaynes post
I already feel tears running down my cheeks as I see the photo of her and xander together
Kissing.
I scream into my pillow and go to my bathroom, I run my body down the wall untill I reach the floor , I can't do this,
I just can't.
I grab the piece of a blade and slit my skin with it
It hurts, but feels good to let out my pain ,
I do about 5 not realising my shirt is full of splattered blood. I continue sobbing and cover the scars with toilet tissue , it getting soaked with blood in a second.
I sit on my bed , looking at myself in the mirror feeling disgusted because of how I look , I look at my face the mascara still running down.
I text my best friend.
"Hey please come over"
Read.
She knows something is up when I say that and she always panicks and comes here in less than 5 minutes , showing how much she cares about me.
She bashes through my door and into my hands letting all my pain out into her shoulder.
"What happened?" She says with a panicked tone but calming one too.
I look down on my sleeve.
"Oh no , oh no no no" she says breaking down in tears covering her mouth and letting her drop down on the floor letting the bottle of achohol sit there.
I'm the one comforting her now.
I brush my hands through her hair whilst taking a sip of the achohol she bought with her.
After a while we drink the whole bottle and everything spins around me.
