trapped in a spiders web. (radiodust)

hurting *⁠･.⑅♡

alastor pov

I can't believe I basically just asked angel out. It isn't necessarily an actual date but- you know. I rest my head on my bed and start fidgeting with my hands. I've never realized how much I actually like angel. Something about his smile is sweet, with that golden tooth of his. And his body language is, really nice too actually. And he's extremely gorgeous. With his chest fluff that goes with his tall and slim body..he's really nice. The other night when we first genuinely had a long conversation, that was nice. When he told me about his life...it was so interesting. I want to get to know him better. But for now, I think I should go to sleep for a nap. I don't usually sleep but im exhausted already, just pure thinking about angel and analyzing my feelings can really tire me out.

little time skip to 10pm when their both getting ready cuz lazy

angels pov

im still surprised that alastor wants to hang out with me, I mean, maybe the conversation we had the other night got him interested in me or something. But that's probably not possible, he doesn't seem like the type of person to love. And if he does love, i definitely wouldn't be one of those people he loves.

I head into my closet and choose my outfit. I probably shouldn't go into something too formal since I mean it's just a hang out. I grab myself a white and pink star shirt and a pair of black jorts. It isn't my usual type of outfit as im usually in more slutty outfits, but I wanna look nice for some reason, i guess I want him to think im.. pretty? He would probably never even think that but who cares.

I close my closet and head into my mini bathroom which has all my makeup and perfumes. 'Im not gonna get too dolled up because makeup is just too tiring to do, natural beauty is gonna have to work.' i apply some mascara and some lip gloss, making my lips shine. i apply my strawberry vanilla perfume and make my way out.

I walk to the bar, casually on my phone. i see husk and sit down across from him and he just stares at me from behind the bar. "hey husky baby~ whatcha doin?" he rolls his eyes and grabs a glass to clean. "none of your fuckin business angel. what are you doing?" i rest my head on my hand and smirk. "nothinn~ just waiting for a deer boy, he wanted to meet up with me." husk sighs and just nods, letting the conversation evaporate into the air and for silence to enter.

i scrolled through my photos and saw some of the pictures in my gallery. One of them was a picture of me and alastor, even if he's all blurred out and glitched, I still keep it in my gallery. Now thinking about it, alastor is- kind of handso-

"hello my angel! my apologies I'd I was a little late, how are you?" i practically scream as loud as my sister molly used to, actually almost falling back off my chair. "AAAAA! FUCK ALASTOR..YA SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME." i yell, panting. he chuckles and sits down, still snickering a little. "god angel you sure are cute when your scared! " he says through his laughs, making me deeply blush, but I brush it off. he finally calms down and we start talking a little, not anything too interesting, well actually anything about alastoe is interesting, but we just talked about whatever we did today and some stories. husk steps up and leaves, heading into his room because he said he was too drunk and couldn't bother even staying up any longer and whatever. "bye husky poo~ " i say teasingly, making him raise a middle finger at me. "oo~ is that the finger your gonna shove up my ass~? wow husky~! eheh!" he ignores me and i snicker a little, i love teasin him.

after some silence between just me and Al, he says something. "ah, angel. there's one certain id like to talk about." i turn towards alastor and raise an eyebrow. "i- do you have any advice on, possibly being in love with someone? i think i like this certain person im just not sure how to express it to them."

my heart drops and i feel my whole body ache. it felt like he was holding my heart so close to him just to- drop it. and step on it and crush it into pieces. he- doesn't like me. he likes someone else. who-! god i felt so jealous that i could actually kill myself right now.

"angel? dear?" i widen my eyes and realized i was spacing out. "fuck sorry, zoned out. uhm, well can i know who the person is?" i attempt to cover my feelings so he wouldn't notice. he looks at the floor a little and then to the side. "i-id rather not say." i nod and just look at my nails and avoid eye contact as much as possible. "are you okay? you seem upset angel." i whisper fuck under my breath, and look at him with a smile. "nah im fine smiles! just tired from today, and it is pretty late. about the lucky demon, i dont know what to tell ya, ive never really been in a relationship before.

" he looks at me with confused eyebrows, so I sigh. "if you think my clients or me and Valentino's relationship is something id consider an actual romantic relationship, no. i wouldn't say that's an actual relationship. in dumb tv shows couples are always cuddlin and actually spending time together instead of fucking and-" i pause, realizing I was about to spill out the things val does to me. I can't let alastor know, I can't let anyone else other than cherri know actually.

"nevermind" i sigh and step up. "im goin to my room al, thanks for the night. good luck with that little crush of yours." I make my way upstairs and run my hand through my hair. i feel myself start to tear up at the pain of knowing the person I actually liked didn't even like me back. its the same thing that happened in high school when I was still alive. i liked a stupid boy named arron but he didn't even like me back. he completely rejected me. I don't get why im always getting rejected. it's like everyone loves me but hates me all at once. i just wanna be truly loved. not used for sex or anything, but I guess just simple things like that are impossible...

i just wish someone loved me.

a/n i was wondering what to do w this chap cuz I wassssss gonna make.it so val like abuses angel or something but that happens in every other radiodust fic sooo, if yall have any suggestions ur welcome to tell me :)