𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝕊𝕀𝕊𝕋𝔼ℝ 𝕋ℍ𝔼𝕐 𝕃𝕆𝕊𝕋

~ Chapter - 38 ~

- I L A R I A -

Elijah is talking to Xavier over the phone for an hour now. I have my headphones on cause I don't have the energy to listen to whatever he is saying, especially since he gave me his 'I'll handle Xavier' speech. I am more than happy to leave Xavier be if only he stops instigating me.

I haven't talked to anyone other than Kiara and Kevin since we landed. I tried calling mom but she didn't pick up. I feel really bad that she has to deal with everything alone, dad is also not home and we are here. Mom has no one to vent to and Elijah still thinks Xavier is just misunderstood.

I get his perspective, I really do. If I were Elijah, I would love Xavier too. But the situation is different, Xavier's behaviour with me and Elijah is different and naturally our perspectives are different. I respect it and so should Elijah. He can't force me or anyone else to see Xavier like he does. It's just not fair to me.

"He doesn't understand. It's like he doesn't even wants to." Elijah groaned, finally getting off the phone.

"No comments." I grumbled. If I say anything, he would again see that as a jab towards his brother.

"I don't know what to do with him anymore."

I ignored him. He expects me to listen to his rants, sympathize with him but not give my opinion on the situation which I find totally ridiculous. He can handle alone Xavier all he wants. I'm not going to be a free therapist to any of them now.

"Did you talk to mom?"

"Mom didn't pick up. I left a text but she hasn't responded yet. I don't think mom is gonna talk to me about it though. I think she's very hurt."

Mom never likes to talk about her feelings or problems with any of us. Especially with me.

"Xavier is guilty and hurt too."

I sighed internally. I don't know why he has to make every conversation about Xavier and his goddamn feelings. If he really feels guilty, then good for him. He should feel guilty. Why is everyone else expected to walk on eggshells around him just so he wouldn't be hurt, that too because of his own actions?

"Can we please stop talking about Xavier? I don't want to talk about him and honestly I only care about my mom's feelings right now and no one else's. Also, you get annoyed if I voice out my opinion so please. Please stop talking about him." I said trying to be as nice and polite as possible. Elijah looked at me and rolled his eyes.

"Fine." He snapped. "You know what Ilaria, you should really think about others and stop behaving so selfishly for once."

"It would be so good if you listen to your own advice and tell your dearest brother to do that too."

"He's your brother too you know, and it's shameful how you actively try to hurt him and exclude him."

"He doesn't even treat me like a human being, Elijah. Why are you expecting-"

"Because we are siblings for god's sake. Family! We all expect stuff from our family at the end of the day. The difference is that we do not cry and complain about it all the time, unlike you. You think you are 'Miss Perfect' who can never do anything wrong. Wake up kid, cause it's not just Xavier who messes up." Elijah cut me off harshly.

He was behaving exactly like the twins do and I'm starting to wonder if that's what his true personality is. Maybe all these months he spent being good and caring towards me was just a cover up. Or maybe it was just his guilt forcing him to do that.

Elijah loves me, I don't doubt him when he says that but the twins, especially Xavier, do have a more special place in his heart. It was very insignificant at first but as we grew up, it started being very obvious who his number one priority was. He never cared much about my extracurriculars attended only a few, even missed Xander's games sometimes but Xavier's? Never. I don't think Elijah has ever lost a videogame to anyone, except when Xavier was having a bad day and he'll let him win. Elijah never liked sharing his food expect when Xavier was sulking and would ask him for a bite. It used to make me so jealous and upset when I was younger. I wondered why my big brother didn't love me the same. But with time, I had to accept it. I can't force Elijah to do anything, his affection lies with Xavier the most and it'll always be that way. Maybe he was trying to side with me and be a right person in the whole situation but now he can't do it anymore.

Because while he was trying to side with me and understand me, his affection for Xavier comes naturally. He doesn't need to try to understand him. His love for Xavier is so unconditional that it doesn't even need conscious efforts. Everything comes naturally between them.

"Elijah, I know I'm not perfect, nobody is. And I might have as much bad qualities as Xavier, even worse maybe. But then, isn't it good that I stay away from him? That I am trying to maintain my distance? Why hurt each other? Why not stay away?" My voice was quiet. I had no energy nor desire to argue. It was pointless. Why would I ever want to hurt Xavier? What will I achieve by it? What good would it do to me? I don't think I can ever hurt him by not talking to him. I'm sure he sees that as a relief. Then why does Elijah have a problem? Why can't he just let us be?

"You don't stay away from family, Aria."

"What family, Lijah? Is having the same blood enough to love people? Don't you think it is a very shallow way to define that?"

I have seen people being so close to their family, they'll give their life for them. But it's not just because they shared the same blood. It is about being there with each other, through thick and thin, in good times and in bad. It's about standing with people not only when it's convenient but also when it's not.

Family is everything. But we choose our family.

"Family- Being loved no matter what."
-  Anonymous

Hi my pretty pretty people! How are you all doing? I'm so sorry for ,making you guys wait so much and I have nothing to say about it other than life happens, just know I haven't given up on this book. I will complete it. Thank you to everyone who checked up on me and I'll reply to all your messages by tomorrow.

How was the chapter?

Question of the chapter- Who's your favorite cricketer?
P.S. This worldcup broke my heart :(

Take care and stay well!

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