Her Hidden Past

- Chapter Nineteen -

"We were your targets that night, Nick and I?" Maria let out at a gasp. "No wonder you never told anyone."

"Coulson and Fury both knew, everyone else already distrusted me enough." Natasha replied. "You know, you were the reason I reconsidered my mission. You talked to me at the gala, treated me as a human being. I was surprised you didn't recognise me later at SHIELD."

"I did?" Maria paused, thinking. "The blonde girl, in the emerald dress? That was you?"

"Yes," Natasha nodded quietly.

"Tasha," Clint called softly. "That's not supposed to be in your file. Fury promised you it would be completely redacted."

Realisation spread across Natasha's face, "I need to see that." Natasha quickly pushed herself off the floor. She hurried across to look over Maria's shoulder at the screen. "No, no, no," She scanned the file as Maria scrolled down. "None of it is redacted." She shook her head, backing away.

"Clint, I think you should check your file." Maria pulled up his file before turning the screen towards him.

"No," Clint shook his head, clamping down on his emotions.

Natasha stopped pacing long enough to see the file was unredacted like her own. "That threat Lisov made after New York?" Natasha turned to him.

"Everything?" Clint whispered, the colour draining from his face. "Our whole files?"

Natasha began to pace again, "Everything."

"Fury is going to kill us," Clint sighed, standing. "At least we told him about the threat."

"It's not going to matter," Natasha whirled around, watching as Clint began pacing. "The World Security Council will want both our heads, and Fury's. As soon as they learn Lisov claimed to be my uncle, there will be a kill order on me quicker than you can blink. They'll never believe I stopped working for the Red Room." She sank onto the edge of her bed putting her head in her hands.

"Maybe Fury could delete the files?" Steve suggested, trying to encourage them not to give up.

"We have to let him know. We need to make a plan," Maria said, being practical as always. "I don't know if Fury can delete it without the approval of another alpha level, but there must be something we can do in terms of damage control."

"Can you call him and tell him?" Natasha asked, heading for the door. "I need... I need a few minutes."

"Tasha, that's not a good idea," Clint quickly blocked her path.

"Please, I just need some time to think," She tried to step around him.

"I can't let you go, Natasha. You need to hear what Fury has to say," Clint's voice dropped to less than a whisper. "I need you to be brave with me."

"I worked for the enemy. The World Security Council will count it as confirmation of the threat they've always seen me as. They'll eliminate me or stick me into a tiny box and forget about me." Natasha's breathing became faster, "You know what that would do to me." She had told Clint about the small metre by metre cells Medvedev had used as punishment for the girls. Memories flooded in of empty blue eyes staring up at her and blood coating the floor. The way the warm blood began to cool and dry. The days and nights bluring together and the body beginning to smell. Natasha screwed her eyes closed in an attempt to block the terrifying memories out. She swayed on her feet as they overwhelmed her, her eyes flashing open, unseeing.

Clint took another step closer to her, quickly putting his arms around her as her legs gave out. He gently lowered them both to the floor, pulling her close. Natasha's face was pale and set as she relived the horrors. "Tasha, Tasha, it's ok, I've got you," Clint tried to reassure her. Her eyes finally fluttered shut before opening again. She immediately tried to pull away from him, embarrassed to have shown weakness in front of Maria and Steve.