One shots (creative title, i know)

Must Be Love [Shiall]

Niall was straight. 

No doubt about it. He would know if he wasn't, right? After having lived with a bunch of people who weren't, he'd know. For sure. Right?

Yet he couldn't help it if he kept searching for Shawn when he wasn't even sure that Shawn was there, and he couldn't help it if he wanted to spend most of his time with him, and he couldn't help it if he laughed at every single one of Shawn's jokes just because it was Shawn that told them.

It was strictly platonic.

There was no romance involved, because Niall was straight. He was an ally, not a part of the community. He wouldn't have anything against it if he was, but he couldn't be, because no one finds out about it this late in life. So he wasn't, end of story. Right?

-----

"Not that I don't love you and your calls, mate, but why are you calling at three in the morning? Some of us need our beauty sleep."

Niall was not in the mood to deal with sarcastic Louis, but he was in the middle of a crisis, and, if possible, one goes to Louis Tomlinson when in the middle of a crisis.

Niall sighed. "I am calling at three in the morning because it's urgent. I have not been able to sleep because I am in the middle of my quarter-life crisis."

"Mate, are you ok? Are you calling to talk about it or to distract yourself?"

"Talk about it." Niall heard shuffling sounds, and a soft 'it's ok, H, go back to sleep', before Louis was back.

"Alright, I'm listening."

The words poured out of Niall, rapidly. "I've been thinking about how I feel about someone and they're a guy and he's really amazing but he's a guy and I'm straight, because I would know by now if I wasn't, right? Like, how everyone has their 'moment' when they're young and they know that they're not straight and they know it immediately and then everything makes sense. But I didn't have that and so I can't be not straight but I want to spend all my time with this person and I want to know everything about them and I get nervous when they're around, and-"

"Breathe, Nialler, breathe. Don't work yourself into a frenzy, mate."

"Yeah, ok."

There was silence for a moment, as Louis figured out how to say what he knew Niall needed to hear. "Not everyone discovers that they're queer when they're young. It's not a necessity or a requirement, or a criteria that you need to meet to be accepted into the queer community. Different people will have their 'moment' at different times. Some people will never have a 'moment' where they realise that they're different because they've always known, and some people won't have that moment because they can't find the right word for what they're feeling, but they know that they're queer. And all of those scenarios are ok. Along with any other queer experience. We're all different people trying to put words to feelings that we all experience differently. There's no time limit to discovering your queerness, Niall."

That was exactly what Niall needed to hear. His brain quietened down, and he thought about his own feelings for a minute or two. He took a deep breath, ready. "I... am attracted to another guy. I'm not straight." It felt good to say it out loud. To let go of the doubts he had and let his brain accept him. A tear of overwhelmed happiness slid down his cheek.

He started laughing, the relief of knowing spreading through his whole body. He could hear Louis's joyous chuckle over the phone.

"I'm proud of you, Nialler. Thank you for trusting me with this. Love you, man."

"Love you too, Lou."

"Can I know who the guy is? Spill the tea, Niall."

"It's Shawn."

"I knew it!"

"You knew?"

"Yeah! Well, H suspected it, and then I did too, and now my suspicions are confirmed."

"Was I that obvious?"

"Yes. You were."

"Why am I always the last person to know about my crushes? This is getting annoying."

Louis burst out laughing.

"Yeah, yeah, you were also the last to know about your crush on H, I'll have you know."

"I was not!"

They laughed and bickered like siblings for hours, finally ending their call just after sunrise.

-----

Niall was not straight.

He was attracted to Shawn Mendes.

And he was currently stressing over it, hyper-analysing every interaction they had ever had - for signs of his own feelings that he should have picked up on earlier, and for signs that Shawn could potentially ever like him back. There were quite a few of both, which led to Niall spiraling further, overthinking his analysis, and then overthinking that.

He got out his notebook, words flowing from his brain to the paper.

I'm a specialist at overthinkin' everything
I'll tell you all about it if you have the time

He played around with different melodies that he had in his brain, adding to the words he already had on the page in small couplets that described his feelings and his habits.

When he thought about, it should have been obvious to him ages ago. His feelings toward Shawn didn't feel like platonic love. They felt like the love he'd felt with his last girlfriend, where touches were electric sparks and brief eye contact created a million butterflies. These feelings felt like romantic love.

But if it feels like la, la-la, la-la-la, love
If it feels like la, la-la, la-la-la, love
If it feels like love
Then it must be love

-----

A/N: When I thought of 'if it feels like [romantic, not platonic] love, then it must be [romantic, not platonic] love', I immediately started this. I love it. And I hope you did too, thanks for reading it :DD

LOVE YOU <3333333333333333

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