They were drivers, they were best friends. No one was expecting lockdown to happen in 2020, and Lilly and Charles certainly weren't expecting for their story to turn out like this.
I jumped up from the crippling uncomfortable sofa and made my way to the bathroom to take a shower, still thinking about how Charles' eyes looked so filled with fire as we lay intertwined on the sofa. I wasn't sure what to do in that moment and I feared if I laid there for a moment longer that I would have thrown myself at him.
I wish he wanted me as bad as I wanted him right now; all I could think about in the shower were his eyes. They looked at me filled with lust, he looked like he wanted to devour me.
Surely I can't be that delusional that I've got the wrong idea? Was he not looking at me like that at all? Maybe I actually am just going crazy?
I almost wish he would just walk into this bathroom now.
I'm completely aware it's wrong to feel like this, I know he's my best friend but something primal has just clicked in me and I don't think I'm going to be able to look at him as a friend again, I really don't know what changed so quickly and has pushed me over the edge to a point where I'm unable to hide my feelings for him - but I don't know how long I can do it.
Ok get yourself together.
Eventually dragging myself from the shower, and away from my delusion - with my towel wrapped around me I lay on the bed and open my laptop.
The news headlines quickly begin to appear and the death rate is just terrifying, there's no avoiding what's happening in the world - we've been so wrapped up in our own little bubble in this apartment without watching any news that I almost forgot the chaos and horror going on outside.
Quickly taken away from the horror of the outside world -
"Shit, I've got no underwear"
Quickly remembering I brought absolutely nothing here, and I'm currently in a towel - I start browsing to find myself some nice lingerie for delivery remembering I can't just pop out to the shops.
I don't know what came over me but as soon as I saw it I knew I had to have it. I really should just be looking for a few comfy bra and thong sets but...
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I needed it.
The worst part was, I instantly knew how much I was in too deep with my feelings for Charles, because my first thought when I saw this was "I'd love him to see me in it."
I bought it.
And a few more normal comfy sets, I wasn't sure why I even went ahead with it but buying it was somehow a brave move in my own mind, as if I was slowly getting closer to having the courage to just tell him I want him.
"Do you want any food Mon amour?" Charles appears at the door.
For some reason having him call me Mon amour felt different than it usually did today, he had always called me it since we were about 16 - but today it gave me butterflies.
Probably because I was so deep in my delusion that he might actually mean it.
"Sure let's go cook, but I'll do the cooking Charles."
He can do most things with ease, annoyingly. But cooking certainly isn't one of them.
