CONNECTION BETWEEN US (ZhuiLing)

CHAPTER 11 - BREAK DOWN

As it was morning,the time everyone woked up.

Jin Ling didn't sleep.He stayed in his bed,staring at the ceiling during that sleeping hours.He doesn't want the same dreams to haunt him.

He saw Lan Sizhui got up,"goodmorning~ hm...you're early? But you're still on bed?"

"I'm not early. I wasn't even asleep.",Jin Ling said in a harsh tone as he got up and yawned."I'm not. Sleepy."

Lan Sizhui noticed it,"you didn't sleep?..don't you want to get some rest?.."

"I am. By laying down. Staring at the ceiling as if I'm dead",Jin Ling respond harshly and look at him with a frowned on his face.

"...that's not sleeping or resting..that's just making you more tired because you kept your eyes open and no rest for your body either.",Lan Sizhui walk towards him,sat down next to him on his bed."tell me,why weren't you sleeping?"

"..."

"I don't want to see the same thing all over again,Sizhui.You won't understand how it feels to remember the same thing,the same scene,the same dream repeat nonstop.",Jin Ling looking away,facing the wall at his right side.

A small sob came from him,he shed some tears,"No one-..would..understand."

Lan Sizhui soften his expression and tone,"Jin Ling..if you tell me,I'll understand. Even though I can't feel how you feel. You need someone to talk to still"

He placed his hand on his shoulder to comfort him,caress it gently,"it's alright..i'm here"

Jin Ling couldn't hold it in anymore,the more he comfort him,the more he wants to cry and let all the shitty feelings he kept out.He quickly hug Sizhui and cries in his shoulder.

"I just don't want to see the same shit. It's always that dream. The dream my parent's died. I'm alone,I don't have my parents..everyone made fun of me."

Sob sob

Lan Sizhui was shock by the sudden hug but he hug back because he knows Jin Ling really needs comfort at this kind of topics and moments.

"I don't want..to be touch. By anyone. Ever again. I'm...."

He trembled

"I'm..I'm scared. I'm weak. I can't. Even though I show my best,my great image. I can't. I just."

He broke down,he cries quietly in Lan Sizhui's arms.

Lan Sizhui caress his back as he hold him close and comfort him,"Jin Ling..oh dear..sh sh.."

After a few minute,Jin Ling stopped crying but still remain in Sizhui's arms.
His eyes are red after he cried,he felt relief to finally let it out after long time keeping and bottle it up,he closed his eyes as he fidgeting his bell tessel that was gifted to him to keep him calm.

"I'm..I.. I'm sorry.",he mumbled to Sizhui."it's..all my fault"

Lan Sizhui shook his head,"don't be..I should be the one who is sorry to you. After what you been through,you don't deserve it. But we can't control what had happen. Don't blame yourself"

"C-can I stay..for a bit longer?.."-JL

"Yes..I don't mind"-LSZ