Sleeping With The Homie 2

6

Gian's POV

After the gym, I head back to my dorm. As I walk in, I jump slightly when I see Lashawn laying on Isaiah's bed and not Isaiah. The sound of water running distantly lets me know that his boyfriend is nearby. He looks away from the TV and his eyes land on me. Lashawn smiles and throws up his hand.

"'Sup, Gian."

"Nun good." I reply honestly as I shut the door behind me.

He sits up at that. "What do you mean?"

I approach the bed. Lashawn scoots over to make room for me to sit down. I put my backpack on the floor as I sit next to him on the edge. I find myself taking out my hair tie to run my hand through my locs out of frustration while I start talking.

"It's Zach...just when I think I'm close to completing the puzzle, to figuring him out - turns out the last piece of the puzzle is so much farther out of reach than I originally thought."

I look over at Lashawn to see that he is side-eyeing me. "Okay Shakespeare...in normal English now."

I roll my eyes before starting to explain from the top. "I didn't want to spend my whole day dwelling on Zach. That's why I was so glad when Elijah randomly hit me up out of blue. He offered me an escape, even if it was just temporary. We went to the gym. We were starting to catch up on everything that's happened in our lives from junior year of high school up until now. That's when Eric and Zach walked in."

"Although I kept it cool, my head was back in the same frenzy from earlier. I kept asking myself the same questions. Should I keep a friends with benefits relationship going with him even if it'll drive me crazy? Is Zach going crazy with the current state of things? If he likes me back, why is he keeping his distance? What's stopping us from becoming more?"

"An hour passed and Elijah left before me. Before I left, I tried to catch Zach. When I caught up to them, Eric, Mariah, and Zach were still in the process of filming a video for Zach's channel. Zach was immediately dismissive. I tried flirting with him a little bit, but he got up on sore legs, ended filming, and tried to get the fuck on. He didn't get far without his leg cramping, so I helped him to the locker room. We sat there on the bench. I held his hand until his leg stopped cramping, in which he snatched his hand away and went off on me. Apparently, he thought Elijah and I had sum going on."

"Oooh, not him being jealous." Lashawn comments.

"Well, that's what I thought. After I reassured him that Elijah and I had nun going on, he was tryna act cool like he just wanted a friendship. So, I applied pressure and told him I wanted to be more than friends. Although Zach initially protested, I could see the facade slowly falling until he finally gave in and kissed me. We're kissing and kissing until two older men walked in. They were saying some homophobic shit and I think it really hit deep for Zach cuz the men are from the Caribbean, just like his parents, where gay men aren't accepted as much. After they rounded the corner, I tried to comfort Zach, but he pushed me away and stormed out of the locker room." I conclude.

Lashawn looks into my eyes. His stare doesn't waver as he analyzes me. I brace myself for a joke or an insult...

...That never comes. Lashawn's gaze softens before he says, "There's nothing you can do to fix this, Gian."

"What?" I blink.

"I know you're so used to helping others and solving their problems, but you can't fix this. Zach has to. Zach needs to want to help himself.  You have to fall back, Gian." Lashawn continues in a tone so soft, but somber. It's almost like he can relate to how I'm feeling firsthand.

My suspicions are answered when Lashawn speaks again, "I've been there before. In your shoes exactly. Loving someone in private, then trying to show that same love to them in public and next thing you know, you're being kept at arms length or you're shunned by your partner because everyone else is shunning them. That feeling...it'll drive you mad."