Oshi No Ko: PHOENIX [OC x Oshi No Ko]

Ch.9 - ANGER:

No, there has to be a mistake. There has to be! Sarina, she... she couldn't possibly...

This is all a mistake. It has to be. Sarina would never-

Or so I thought. But it was real. Before her burial, I asked the celebrant if I could see the letter. And when they showed it to me... it was her handwriting, and it said everything which was read out.

My voice broke when I tried to speak, choked by the pain I was feeling. Knowing that this letter was real... It tore me apart. I felt sick like I was going to vomit. But I still had respect for my best friend... so I held it back.

My eyes were glassy, my hands were shaking as I tried to hold the last of my sanity together. I couldn't let anyone see how much it hurt me, how much it tore me apart. I had to be strong for Sarina.

But I was shaking with anger. 

My best friend, that's what we were, right?! Eight years couldn't have meant nothing! There was no way...

How could Sarina completely leave me out of that letter and state that her only friend was Doctor Amamiya?!

That's bullshit!

My hands balled into fists, the anger boiled within me.

It made no sense, it made no sense at all! We were closer than twins, we were like family. How could she leave me out, like I meant nothing to her after all this time?!

What kind of friend does that? What kind of friend just forgets about you, as if you never existed?! It's not right, it's not fair!

Yet, she wrote it. Which only confirmed my worst fears had come true. Sarina died thinking that I had abandoned her. My heart felt like lead, it was too heavy to carry with me. The guilt was overwhelming.

I had failed her.

I'll never forgive myself for that. I'll never forgive myself for not being there for her when she needed me the most. For letting her fall into the hands of that doctor. In the end, she believed that I was never her friend to begin with, and instead, she leaned into the arms of the Doctor who kept me away from her in the first place!