Poor, poor Phil. Oh he's about to have the fight of his life. I gonna head back behind the school and get him, right after I kill Julia with my gun, why don't I do that to Phil, nah, this is more fun. I'm fun! Oh nevermind, I wish. What the fudge is wrong with me? I'm like a centipede that ate a tortoise and it got lodged in my throat and I could never eat again. I wish I was more like Phil with his dreamy red eyes and his merman fin and his ability to breathe underwater because he's a merman! But he's also a sexy stealer! (Finally I got the double letter!) But nevermind that let's head behind the school and get him! I can't even believe it. I get behind the school and not only did he get Julia pregglez but he magically made the baby be born and named him Philosopher and I watched it all happen, even the pulling and pushing and the worst. The grossest. The bloodiest, cutting of the umbilical cord. Ew.
