Egonoia: Me, Myself, and I (And Everything In-Between)

I: 1-25

Question #1: Who are you?

     So, this is how it begins, huh? For the millionth time.

     {I'm also very tempted to type the lyrics out of the song of the same name by The Who, but I won't; I feel like it's an overused joke, at least in my family, so.}

     Don't ask why I acted like I never attempted this shit before because I've got no answer and I immediately exposed the truth afterwards, anyway, so attempted drama, maybe? I really don't fucking know. I've done this, like, multiple times, just so many attempts for the past five-to-seven years that I can't even recall the number anymore; probably more than ten, to be honest, because I keep re-attempting this long ass survey challenge thing; the questions themselves aren't the challenge, by the way, it's getting around to answering them.

     I've only completed this once and it wasn't recently; many years ago, back when we had gotten our first desktop computer (PC, whatever, I don't know terms; I murdered all three (ish) with viruses, sorry not sorry for my undying curiosity about hentai) and back when my answers were short, simple, and mostly rushed because I just wanted the damn thing over with after a while, you know?

     Times have changed (and still are, for better and for worse, because that's how life works). Personalities have grown (and continue to flourish, sort of, maybe, not really; perhaps my more negative traits have just diminished a lot throughout the years). Experiences, some pleasant and some not, have been had (and new memories await, whether I want to experience them or not, how fun).

     Alright, so, let's do this shit!

     BUT FIRST, A WARNING!

     It is very likely that it'll take me forever to get to the point, much like out here in the real world where I'm typing all this shit up. Sometimes, or most of the time actually, I forget to answer the actual question and just rant about something irrelevant that popped into mind before possibly answering what was asked in the first place (after the question is asked a second or third time). And I have no idea why I do that; it just happens without me realizing, until someone points it out.

     I get pretty easily distracted by my own thoughts that, oftentimes, my family gets confused when I'm telling them about something; I tend to add in my thoughts and opinions as I'm explaining what occurred, alongside the opinions of others that I'd heard, and, almost always, it turns everything into a jumbled, uncoordinated mess, but I just silently take in their frustrations instead of explaining better because I am terrible at explaining things in a very simple manner. And it probably confuses them that I'm almost always smiling whenever I talk about celebrity or YouTube drama; that's because it amuses me how wild the drama can get and, oftentimes, it is over something so fucking tiny, like a slightly different opinion, for example, because how dare anyone think differently. It's so stupid.

     {I blame over half of the female classmates I've ever had and certain females on my father's side of the family for why I'm so into drama; those particular people were just all about the drama, drama, drama (gossip, gossip, gossip) that I grew used to hearing/seeing all the pointless arguments/fights and I just eventually enjoyed the free show. I even had some of my own drama, thanks to becoming obsessed with the drama of others; I purposely placed myself into the drama of "friends" and often spoke loudly to make things worse, not just for myself but mainly for those around me (my "friends") because it was fucking hilarious, self inflected embarrassment be damned. I regret that now, of course, and no longer want to be involved in drama because I've developed a fear of embarrassing myself in any manner (if I am embarrassed, I will panic and cry, and it'll just confuse those around me, even if they know about my issues, who'll say "I'm overreacting") but I still like hearing about drama. I don't think that'll change, unfortunately.}