Egonoia: Me, Myself, and I (And Everything In-Between)

V: 101-125

Question #101: What does happiness/joy feel like physically?

     Like I shall explode into a million tiny little Chrysanthemums of epic awesomeness whilst many butterflies flutter and such around/in me. *dramatic pause* I don't know how to explain it; I just know it's the best emotion ever. Ummm, excitement enters me during those moments, so I get jittery and warm. I suppose I explained it alright; I'm no good with descriptions of emotions and their physical effects, nor can I accurately or properly explain them verbally. I'm sorry, folks. :( Epic fail?

     Survey challenge, why? Why are you doing this to me? Stop giving me such...deep (sort of?) questions that I want to answer awesomely but can't because I can't fucking explain things for shit. Somebody, send help. I feel like I answered this question before. Maybe I have; I'm one-hundred and one questions in. Maybe I'll be answering it again two-hundred questions from now; maybe fifty.

     America, explain. Am I just an idiot? Don't answer that; yes, I am. *sighs*

Question #102: List five people you love, starting with the one you love the absolute most.

     Excuse me? I've gotta choose only five? Five?! I have so much love to give, though! Why do I have to choose only five?! Aah! Ugh, fine, I'll "play" your game. Rude ass...other bad words. Alright, ummm... Fuck it, I'm cheating the system again. Fuck you. You can't tell me what to do, bitch. And it's not even gonna be individuals; it's gonna be different groups of people.

     My Entire Family: Excluding the minor attracted ones, literal rapists, and anything else they'd might've done that no one has yet told me about because I don't know what to feel about y'all yet. Anyway, overall, they're annoying as fuck and have a lot of flaws (like myself), but I love them. I'm nothing without them; my parents and siblings. To the ones I've excluded, I really don't want to love you guys, and gals, still but up until recently, I didn't fucking know what y'all did or how y'all think so it's hard to let go of that love I've got for y'all as family, despite how fucking horrible y'all are. Someday, though, I'll learn to be okay with hating y'all for it.

     My Deceased Family Members: Excluding any of you that did some horrible shit; I have no relationship with most of y'all, so it's not so hard to hate/dislike you, unlike with those who are still living and I know well enough to have a bond of sorts (it's why it's hard to hate a few of them). R.I.P. to the rest of you, though. Some of y'all died naturally. Some of y'all drank too much and destroyed your insides. Some of y'all unlived yourself. Some of y'all got cancer. Some of y'all shouldn't have been driving while exhausted and should've gotten a ride. It is what it is. With our family's track record, I'm not making it to fifty; I just don't see that in my cards.

     My Discord Friends: My only friends. Thank you for dealing with my shit when I'm sad or angry. And thank you for existing in the first place. <3 Glad we met, mostly through fanfiction websites.

     A Select Few Former Classmates: I remember some of y'all, surprisingly, and it's just fond memories/feelings, so I'm glad to have met y'all at one point during the bullshit we called school.

     My Pets: R.I.P. to all the pets I've ever had in the past; most of which I should've treated so much better. My current cats, whom I have mentioned numerous times, are still very precious and I'm quite attached to them, so I'm gonna be a sobbing little bitch when they're gone, compared to how I was with nearly all our past pets (which was near emotionless because I wasn't attached to them, like at all, amongst other reasons; I was sad about Bunnie, and I cried for Fluffy, but before them, I just did not give a shit about a pet's passing; I'm glad that's changed).