1.
mk: i would do anything for you guys
rest of the monkie kids: we want you to stop shouldering all of the responsibilities and blame
mk: absolutely not
2.
nezha: you read my diary?!
wukong: at first i didn't know it was your diary. i just thought it was a very sad handwritten book
3.
nezha: *answers phone*
wukong: it's wukong
nezha: what did he do this time?
wukong, stammering: no, it's me, nezha- it's actually me
nezha: what did you do this time?
4.
tang, first teaching mk how to drive a few years ago: okay, you're driving and pigsy and mei walk into the road. quick, what do you hit?
mk: oh, definitely mei. i could never hit dadsy
tang, massaging his temples: the breaks. you hit the breaks.
5.
pigsy: do you take constructive criticism?
mk: not without crying
6.
lbd, visibly ruffled: sorry i'm late, i was doing something
spider queen: SHE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS
7.
huntsman: i wish i was a dinosaur
sandy: why? because they're big and scary?
huntsman: because they're dead
8.
azure: i'm not so sure you're stakeout material
b!macaque: i'm a chronic insomniac, i was born for this
9.
mei: time for plan G
tang: don't you mean plan B?
mei: no, we tried plan B a long time ago. i had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties
mk: what about plan D?
mei: plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago
macaque: what about plan E?
mei: i'm hoping not to use it. monkey king dies in plan E
nezha: i like plan E
10.
red son: between mei, tang and sandy—if you had to—who would you punch?
mk: no one! they're my friends, i wouldn't punch any of them
red son: tang?
mk: yeah, but i don't know why
11.
tang: i'm the smartest person in my friend group
macaque: you hang out with mk and mei
macaque: it's not as high a compliment as you think
12.
nezha: the path to inner peace begins with four words.
nezha: NOT. MY. FUCKING. PROBLEM.
13.
wukong, covering macaque's eyes: guess who~
macaque, tired: wukong, who else would pull this shit
14.
pigsy: talking about your feelings is very important.
pigsy: i wont do it but you guys definitely should
