1.
tang: sandy made tea
pigsy: i dont want tea
tang: he didnt make any for you. he made some for me
pigsy: then why did you tell me?
tang: its a conversation starter
pigsy: thats a lousy conversation starter
tang: oh yeah? we're conversing. checkmate
2.
mk: uhm.. whats up with monkey king? hes been laying on the floor for like... an hour now?
nezha: hes just a little overwhelmed.
mk: oh, no- why?
nezha: macaque smiled at him
3.
mk: you deserve a reward for putting up with me
mei: awhh, mk, you are my reward <3
*later*
mk: you deserve a reward for putting up with me
red son: damn right, you're a real bitch sometimes
4.
mk: shhh! here comes pigsy!
mei: quick, tang! start talking about boring nerd stuff!
tang: you know, nerd culture is actually quite mainstream now, so when you use the term "nerd" derogatorily, it means you're actually the one thats out of the zeitgeist
mei: yes, thats perfect. just like that
5.
sandy: sometimes i drink milk straight from the container
mk: ..the cow?
sandy: what?
pigsy: mk, WHY
6.
wukong, gazing lovingly at macaque: he could kill me and i'd thank him
nezha, sick of his bullshit: i'd thank him too
7.
tang: coca cola can remove rust from metal, imagine what its doing to your body
mei: pfff, getting rid of the rust, idiot
tang: THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS
mei: hmm... ive been drinking soda and my body's rust free... not sure where you're getting your facts from...
8.
pigsy: i swear, i feel like the kid's looking down on me more and more every day! i raised him, for fuck's sake!
tang: thats because hes always on the counter and you're short
9.
tang: hey, i accidentally ate a customer's order... how long do you think i have left before pigsy finds out?
mk: 10
tang: t-ten what?!
mk: 9
10.
wukong: heard the spider queen gave all her lackeys some "get better soon" cards.
huntsman: yeah. she did.
mk: well, thats nice!
huntsman: no, we're not sick. she just wants us to do better
11.
mei: dang it! the printer broke while printing out red son's birthday invitations
princess iron fan: what were they supposed to say?
mei: "red son's birthday"
princess iron fan: and what do they say now?
mei: "red son's bi"
princess iron fan:
princess iron fan: works out either way
12.
goliath: okay, for self defense reasons, im going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely in order to survive
huntsman & syntax: okay
goliath: if you dont wanna die, give me all your money
syntax: bold of you to assume i have any money
huntsman: bold of you to assume i dont want to die
