1.
mk: im not 'a menace to society'! im a law abiding citizen
pigsy: oh yeah? name one law
mk: dont kill people
pigsy: thats on me, i set the bar too low
2.
sandy, seeing mk trying to cook: you can cook?
mk: i made a cake once!
tang: he did, it was very good
mk: wait, really?
tang: dont make me lie twice
3.
wukong: i cant believe we got locked in a room together
nezha, clenching his teeth, throwing away the key and cracking his knuckles: yes, truly unfortunate
4.
mk, probably in s5: i learned a lot from my mistakes so i decided to make more mistakes to LEARN MORE
5.
wukong: i havent lost my virginity because i never lose
6.
lbd: somethings off
mk: maybe you've finally developed genuine emotion and a moral compass and feel bad for hurting people
lbd: no, but thats cute
7.
nezha: is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?!
mei: well, its kind of complicated, but basically monkey king and macaque-
nezha: -got it, forget i asked.
8.
mk: we cant do this! what would dadsy think?!
mei: ok, thats an interesting thought, but hear me out: what if. . . we ran an experiment where we spend the rest of our lives finding out what would happen if we never told him
9.
mk: GUUUYYYYYSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
mk: MONKEY KING IS MISSING!
nezha and macaque, simultaneously: good.
10.
mei: hey lets play twenty questions
red son: ok. whats your favorite color
mei: triangle. do you like men?
11.
spider queen, to her subordinates: and remember, if i get harsh with you, its only because you're doing it all wrong
12.
mei, every time she sees macaque and wukong interact: is macaque bullying him or flirting with him
mk: he just spat on wukong-
mei: your point?
13.
mk, peeling a banana: may i take your jacket, sir? hahahaha
pigsy: do you think other people just cant hear you?
14.
wukong: wait, you like me? for my personality?
macaque: i know, i was surprised too
15.
b!wukong: thats the longest worm i've ever seen!
yellowtusk: thats a snake
16.
dbk and princess iron fan: we have issues
red son: ugh, finally, you admit it! the first step to self-improvement is-
dbk and princess iron fan: -with the monkie kid
17.
tang: i have a bad feeling about this...
mei: what do you mean?
tang: dont you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble?
mei: no?
tang: that actually explains so much
18.
nezha: i'm not doing too well
mk: oh, what's wrong?
nezha: i have this headache that comes and goes
*wukong enters the room*
nezha: there it is again
19.
nezha: let's write wukong and macaque a friendly note, shall we? dear... incompetent... dumbasses...
20.
peng: everyone knows Santa is an invention designed by the big five corporations to sell tinsel and video games to an unsuspecting public
azure: the whole "childhood wonder" stage just blew right past you, did it not?
