1.
huntsman: i want to change
sandy: for the better?
huntsman:
sandy: huntsman please answer me
2.
macaque: you're smiling. what happened?
nezha: what? cant i smile just because i feel like it?
mk: monkey king tripped and fell down the stairs today
3.
pigsy: did you buy eggs like i asked?
mei: even better!
pigsy: what the fuck did you-
mei: *holding up a chicken* her name is fluffy
4.
tang: there's no "i" in team, but there is one in cookies, risotto, candies and milk pie!
mk: ..so you're not gonna share?
tang: i'm not gonna share
5.
wukong: my biggest talent is being stress
macaque: don't you mean stressed?
nezha: no, he doesn't
6.
mei, pointing at a board with the word "dying" on it: there's only one thing worse than dying
mei: *rips off paper so it says "mk dying"*
mk: *GASP*
mk: ME
mei: no
7.
sandy: are you ready for your birthday surprise?
macaque: wow that's a big cake
macaque:
macaque: wukong's inside it isnt he?
the cake: no
8.
sandy: this is a reminder that therapy is covered by your insurance
mk: why are you looking at me like that
9.
mk: truth or dare?
wukong: truth
mk: i dare you to kiss macaque
wukong: *sighs* okay but im only doing this for the dare
pigsy: you didn't even say dare???
10.
b!wukong: on a scale of one to ten, how bad would it be if i--
peng: at least twenty
11.
yellowtusk: why do you keep beating up your crushes to flirt with them
peng: i'm playing hard to get
yellowtusk: why would you do that when you're already hard to want
12.
mk: if macaque and monkey king were drowning, who would you save?
nezha: cant macaque swim?
mk: its a rhetorical question, but does that mean you'd save monkey king??
nezha: no i'd save my time and effort
13.
spider queen: the person that i want to go retrieve the item is-
huntsman, muttering: not me not me not me
spider queen: -huntsman
huntsman: oh for fuck's sake
14.
mk: hey whats the name of the guy that moved in next door?
mei: his dogs' names are walter and rose
mk: thats not what i asked
mei: that is all the information i have
15.
mk: i once had a haircut i deeply regretted
red son: is it the one you have now
mk: no?
red son: well it should be
