I don't wanna live love this way

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Based on this prompt:

Can you do " it's starting to dawn on me that... the reason you might not want to come out about this is because you don't really love me—" from secret relationship . - painful with Landoscar?


In their relationship, secret relationship but whatever, Lando was definitely the more open one.

The one who didn't care so much anymore about what people thought or what they would say about anything they did.

People would always scrutinize them and have something to say.

Lando was over it. Maybe it was Max's influence, who knew, but he'd stopped caring and just did whatever he wanted now.

He gets reprimanded when he goes too far, but most of the time it's worth it.

Oscar on the other hand was still a rookie. F2 and F3 were totally different from F2 in many ways.

People just expect more from you. Not only in the car but also out of the car.

Oscar was having a great season. Probably one of the best rookie seasons. Lando couldn't be more proud of him.

The only problem was that he couldn't show him exactly how proud he really was.

At least not in public.

Oscar would probably kill him if Lando showed him the affection he wanted to in front of the camera.

He'd gotten away with a sneaky butt slap, but that was on impulse and so fast.... Oscar couldn't really be mad about it.

But Oscar was an introvert. He didn't show emotions so easily. Not like Lando, the extrovert.

But---

And it was a big but(t)....

Sometimes Lando just felt.... Neglected.

Felt like he was being pushed aside, just because Oscar didn't want to come out to the world.

Or not yet anyway.

The easy, relaxed way Oscar always seemed to be around Logan and Liam... Why can't he be like that with Lando?

People actually might start to think Oscar had something going on with one of them two.

And Lando wasn't jealous. He wasn't.

Okay, so he was - - -

Especially because Oscar seemed so unbothered by it. Saying he, Logan and Liam were just friends. Which Lando knew. Of course he knew.

But then why couldn't Oscar act the same way around him like he did around those friends?

~~~***~~~

Having had enough of the constant pondering and worrying, driving himself absolutely crazy, Lando finally decided to confront Oscar about it.

It was another night after a race, they both made it up to the podium, in which Oscar snuck out of his hotel room and into Lando's.

Lando was sitting up in the bed, waiting. But when Oscar sat next to him on the bed and came up close to kiss him, he was stopped by Lando's hand against his chest.

"We need to talk."

Oscar frowned and sat back. "About what?"

"You and me," Lando answered, then hesitated for a second. "Well, mostly you."

"Me?" the Aussie boy just looked confused.

"Yeah.... You see, I've been thinking....." Lando looked down at his hands, fingers clenched into the blanket. "About you not wanting to come out---"

"Lando...."

Whatever Oscar was gonna say was cut off by Lando raising his hand up in a 'let me speak' manner.

" it's starting to dawn on me that... the reason you might not want to come out about this is because you don't really love me—" Lando just kind of blurted out, even to his own surprise.

Oscar blinked a few times. Gaping at his boyfriend. He couldn't have heard this right - - -

"You - you think I don't really love you? Are you serious? What makes you think that?"

Lando could see it happening. Could see Oscar's protective walls coming up. And honestly, his own were coming up too.

"Oh, I don't know..." Lando answered snappily, "the way you ignore me in public but are all over Logan and Liam."

"I'm not all over - - - Lando, they're my friends!"

"And I'm your boyfriend!" Tears were burning at the back of his eyes, but he wasn't gonna let them fall. "I'm not asking you to kiss me on live television. But at least talking to me more wouldn't hurt, right?"

Oscar visibly winced, before his face became a hard mask again.

"I think I should sleep in my own room tonight."

Well... Lando definitely wasn't expecting that outcome.

"Yeah.... Maybe you should."

Oscar sighed. It looked like he was gonna lean in and kiss his....boyfriend.... But ended up just shaking his head and getting up from the bed, walking to the door.

"Goodnight Lando." He held the door open, doorknob still in his hands.

"Goodnight."

The door fell closed. Oscar was gone.

Lando screamed into his pillow and finally let his tears fall.

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