I'm in an adventure?

Life Is Like a Sandcastle

the name is Jak, nice to meet you. I'm from a small coastal city on the western side of the U.S. it's a great place to live. Here, it's always sunny no matter the season, the weather is great and people here are too! we're all friends here, and here... is boring.

But it's the coast though! you can party all you want at the beach to eating, drinking, you could see the various theme parks and see the coral reefs and the kelp forest where all the unique sea critters live. Why I wouldn't I love this?

The problem is that you need friends and money. I don't have many friends willing to go out, nor the money. It sucks, but I'd rather be inside playing or doing anything else. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy going out, it's just it can be too much, and going with family can only do so much.

it always starts as a happy, where we bond together! until one bad thing happens and the whole mood is ruined. not having enough money, dad incorporating politics into everything, mom turning things into a life lesson, and the siblings being siblings.

It's all just a hassle. let me stay in my room! I want to sleep already! I will go out when I want to go out ok. I like going outside once in a while, not constantly. Who has that energy and time?

It doesn't help that my family keeps telling me all the classic immigrant talk.

"You need to study hard!"

"Get a high-paying job; be a doctor or lawyer!"

"Find a girlfriend so I can have grandkids!"

It's a lot for me to handle, and one can only have so much to hide in before bursting like a pipe. But I don't blame them for asking a lot. Both parents came from nothing to something.

They saw their world change so much, from a house with no running water and barely any power foraging for food to having, electricity, running water, gas and house in a suburb in a different country. They worked hard just to have me, and my sister live an easier life.

They didn't think of themselves, they thought of us, and I can respect them for that. It won't stop me from getting annoyed at them pestering me about every detail and how lazy I am. If you just make your kid's life easier and complain that your kid has an easy life, why make it easier? Case closed.

It stresses me out constantly thinking about the choices I made, and the people I gained and lost, I just think what if I just did this earlier? What if I just asked right then and there? what if... These are the thoughts I always have in my mind. But I have to keep going. There's a saying for it.

"You can't feel something that's always there."

*Picture, has a person thinking what if situations, but chooses to ignore it*

My family isn't in a great or bad position, it's not near the edge of homelessness nor rich people's status, it's the worst of both worlds. You're not poor enough to get any benefits from programs and the government while at the same time not being rich enough to have a good amount of money or many opportunities.

*Picture, showing how being in the middle has no opportunities or aids*

In order us to leave this limbo, I needed to get a high paying job so I and my family so we could live a life without worry, and to get a job I need education of a that caliber. I thought I've done enough but I didn't. I didn't get accepted into the university I needed. I felt nothing but disappointment, I was disappointed with myself.

I knew I should've done more in the past years, but I didn't, and I don't know why. I knew the consequences and benefits of doing them, but I still didn't do them.

*Picture, a person seeing the consequences of his actions, and doing it anyway*

I wasn't dumb or anything, I had above-average grades in school. but now that I know the reason, my loss of motivation when I was younger. Back then, I wanted to do all sorts of things, even if I were to fail. I was never a quitter.