The State of Grace

FIVE

Grace

My legs carry me quickly down the hall, I was on a mission. I had to find out what the hell was in that pocket.

It had been all that was on my mind for the past few days. I hadn't been allowed to access any of Xavier's things for a few days. But the day was finally here, I was allowed to have a look at the jacket that he was taken in. It was being held in the evidence locker.

"Hello, I'm here for Xavier Cavalini's things"

The sour faced lady stares me down from the other side of the glass, my badge was on display but I feel her eyes trail from my badge up to my eyes before nodding her head slowly. It takes this woman's what feels like years to come back with the box full of Xavier's things. She passed it through the gap cut out in the glass, her face never changed form that sour expression.

I grab the things before thanking her and heading into the room adjoining to the locker. I couldn't wait to see what I was missing, I had hardly slept knowing there was something in his jacket that could change everything.

I open the evidence bag, now all the items had been filed I could look inside them. I take the blazer out before reach around in a few of the pockets, I reach the righthand side inside pocket my hand feels a stack of paper. I pull out what I can initially feel, as the stack is free from the jacket my eyes connect with some passports.

Not one. But two.

I feel my heart drop, I had been played by the FBI. They knew about the second passport, if they knew about the first they would know about the second. There was no doubt in my mind about that at all.

I open the first passport and see Xavier, it was the one I had seen before. Under his new name he had created himself 'Dylan Bennett'. I would never picture him as a Dylan, but here he was I was looking at the man he wanted to become.

The man he had created to protect me.

I take out the next passport and my worse fears are confirmed. It was my face, it was my passport. Only it wasn't my name, it was my new identity; 'Anastasia Bennett'.

In the world he had created for the both of us, we were married. We shared a name, we are husband and wife. In the real world we are two people in completely separate lives. He was in a cell, here I was free as a bird but wishing I was anywhere else.

I would live in the pits of hell if it meant I had Xavier by my side. I only wanted him, I only needed him.

I can't help but feel my throat dry, my eyes begin to well as tears fall. I was looking at the life we could have had, that was when I pulled out the final piece of paper.

A one way ticket too Greece.

He was taking us away from this place, he was helping me get away from the FBI. He was saving us, leaving his entire world for me.

And I betrayed him.

As I throw down the blazer I hear a loud bang, louder than a jacket should land. I reach into the left hand pocket, there was a velvet box. I feel my heart stop beating, slowly I open the box and see a diamond ring. It was so big I could only assume this ring was worth more any wage I would ever receive.

I didn't even notice the tears falling from my face anymore. They just fell freely, I didn't know how to stop crying. How to stop feeling the way I was right now. I needed too see Xavier, I needed to try and do anything to save him.

Before I could stop myself, my legs were carrying me down the halls of the FBI. I was marching with intent, I had to reach Miller. I had tell him I knew about their plan, I had to revoke all my statements and my evidence. I had to do all I could to save Xavier. He was the man I was in love with, he was the man I needed. I didn't need the FBI.

I needed him.

I burst into Millers office, he sat behind his desk looking at me with shock on his face. He would never expect me to speak to him the way I was about too. I was always a good pet to him, I never spoke up.

But he had stolen my life. He had ruined everything.

"You knew about the passport" I snap to him "He was never leaving me"

The tears stained my cheeks, he could see I had been crying. It would be clear to a blind man that I had been crying.

I watch him stand from his seat, he looked at me with no expression on his face. I watched him walk around to the other side of his desk before leaning against it.

"Allie, you know how deep you were. We had to get you out" He attempts to reach for me but I pull away.

How could he touch me? How could he think that what he had done was okay. He knew I loved Xavier, he knew everything about us.

So why would he lie to me?

"That wasn't your call to make"

"Allie, please" He sighs, I couldn't handle this right now. My entire world had been pulled from under my feet, I had been forced into a new world I didn't want to be in anymore. "You have your medical now, please we will talk after"

The medical.

I had completely forgotten about it. It was to check me over and also make sure I hadn't gone insane.

I was perfectly fine.

I didn't need any psychological help from this place. I needed to be taken away from the FBI, I needed Xavier back.

There was no response to Miller, I could hardly handle being in his presence at the moment. He knew what he had done to me; attempting to protect me broke me all at the same time. I knew I was safe with Xavier. He would never harm me, but thought was all too much for Miller to understand. Xavier would always be the bad guy in his mind.

Incapable of loving anyone.

Like some blood thirsty beast, he would only harm those who came into contact with. I knew the real Xavier, most people would never get that chance. But I knew the man I loved, I knew who he was.

He wasn't a bad person.