The State of Grace

SEVEN

Two years later...

Grace

The wind blows through my hair, there is no better feeling than the warm winds of Italy. I sit on the dew damp grass, my summer dress fitted around my body and bust just right.

The picnic was left untouched, I just stared forward at the stone. The stone that represented the worst moment of my life, I had always thought losing Xavier was the worst. But that was a drop in the ocean compared to this.

"It's been good weather, I know you'd love the pool we've got now" I speak out, speaking to him was the easiest way to deal with losing a baby.

My baby girl, she was born with her angel wings already. I lost her before I even had her, the feeling of birthing someone you know you'll never have. It was the worst feeling in the world.

The what ifs were too much sometimes, when I first lost her I could hardly get out of bed. I would lay their for days at a time; hardly even eat. The only food I would eat would be whatever Gia bought me.

Since the moment I left the FBI, I went and found Gia like Agent Taylor ordered. It turned out that Gia hadn't been as innocent as she may have seemed. I didn't care about that though, she took me in. She took me away from the US, she saved my life. I knew the second it came out about the baby my head would be on a stick.

Gia brought me to Italy, we now live in a villa in the mountains a few hundred miles outside of Verona. It was safe out here, no one knew who we were. No one knew what I had done in my previous life.

Our baby was laid to rest on our land, I spend a lot of time down here. Talking to her, talking too the daughter I never had.

When she was born I held her in my arms for what felt like ours. I told her all about her father, the man I loved more than anything in the world, the man I still love.

It had been three months since I had heard anything about him. Finn had stayed in contact and told me about Xavier, but three months ago Finn ran out of updates. He also stopped replying to me, something had happened.

I knew it had.

"There is still nothing from your daddy baby" I run my hands along the grass. "I think he's okay though"

I was scared that something had happened, that there had been a fight of some kind. That he could be hurt, Xavier hadn't attempted to reach out to me. He knew nothing about our baby, the last time I saw him was in the FBI halls.

Ever since that day, I hadn't seen his face in person. In my head I see his face every single day, I see him every time I close my eyes. Every single time I look at any picture of our little girl.

She looked just like her father, she had his nose.

"Grace!" I hear Gia calling out for me, she had been out shopping for some food in the local town.

I stand up before leaning back down and pressing my lips to my hand before pressing it against the stone.

"I love you baby girl" I smile before turning around and heading back to the house.

The Italian sun was something I had gotten used to very fast. I thrives in the sun, Gia had taken care of me through thick and thin.

From the moment I told her I was pregnant, she took me in like her own daughter. The rest of her family had no idea where she had gone. That was the way she wanted it, she wanted to protect me even if it meant she lost everything else.

I stroll up to the open doors, I feel Gia's arms embrace around me.

"Bellissima" She pulls me into a hug.

It felt strange to be so close with a woman like Gia. I had betrayed her son, I had taken her life away from her. Yet she admired me more than anyone else. She looked after me better than I had ever been before, she was my mother now for all I cared.

I loved her.

My real parents didn't seem to care when I disappeared without a trace. I'm sure the FBI had some way to cover that up, it was their fault after all.

"How was the market?"

"I got some beautiful pancetta" She smiles before leading me through to the kitchen.

Living with Gia was the most peaceful moments of my life. She held me when I cried, she held my hand all the way through my birth.

She also held me the day we buried her, the worst days of my life Gia was the one that picked up the pieces. Every single time without fail this woman was by my side to make everything better. I can't help but smile at her as she made her way to the refrigerator to get me some lemonade.

"I was going to make some Carbonara for dinner tonight" She pushes over a fresh glass of lemonade.

I pick it up before taking a sip, as I nod to her mention of Carbonara.

There was a look across her face, she was hiding something from me. I could see it written across her face, since the day we left we shared everything with each other. We both knew that her entire family believed her to be dead. They also believed I was dead as well, I knew Luca wanted my head on a spike.

Gia made it very clear she knew Luca's intentions. He was Xavier's right hand man, he wanted revenge. He wanted to get me back for everything I had done to Xavier.

Everyday of my life I regret what I did to Xavier, I ruined his life and in the meantime I ruined my own. I can't help but wonder what could have been. If I didn't hand Xavier, would we be happy with our little girl.

Would everything have been different?

"What?" I ask Gia, her eyes meet mine. She knew I had clocked on that I knew something was up. I watch Gia sigh, she walks to my side before moving my hair from my face before tucking it behind my ear.

"I have to tell you something sweetheart"

My heart sinks right away, did she know something about Xavier?

"What is it?" I snap back quickly, I had opened up to Gia more than anyone else before.

I told her all about the love I held for her son, she told me that she didn't resent me for what I did. I was now a daughter to her. I loved her like a mother like she loved me like her child. 

"Xavier escaped prison"