Venomous

52. Dangerous Waters

It took one last, final shove to push the bulk that was Alexei onto the 'jet' – or whatever the hell it actually was that we were semi-flying in. If Yelena had her way, we'd probably be crashing – or in the case of Natasha, decapitated. Natasha had climbed her way up me, bypassing her father entirely before reaching the rope and hoisting herself on board, leaving me to contend with our 'baggage' alone. I grunted, which sounded more like a growl when I finally pulled myself the last few inches, standing to nearly full height and taking a deep breath. Alexei, still exhilarated from his impromptu rescue, deflated almost immediately when he got a good, full look at us. The look on our face made it abundantly clear that we were not in the mood for questions or for explanations. We scowled. This man had better not test us if he knew what was good for him. Unfortunately for him (and the rest of us in this flying caviar tin), it also didn't exactly seem like he was the sharpest tool in the shed.

"I need some help up here," Yelena called from the front seat. Natasha wad already headed up to the front of the jet to assist without a backwards glance. Alexei did a double-take as the white goo began retreating from my face and arms. He decided against asking, however, choosing instead to try to bond with his daughters.

"прощайте, придурки!" Alexei shouted from the jet through the still gaping opening where the door should be pulled shut. I rolled my eyes, shoving the door shut and almost catching his fingers in the process. There was no one down there that could hear him, buried under a ton of snow. "Oh, that was exciting," he murmured, leaning on the ledges behind the cockpit, finally realizing that he was out of breath. Natasha couldn't get her headset on fast enough – most likely to block the sound of his voice. I already wanted to punch him. "Oh, I'm so proud of you girls," he continued. Neither of them responded. "Oh, you can't hear me, huh? Okay." He laughed, turning to try to find his headset. His nose accidentally ran into my fist as he turned back, knocking him back down into a seat. It had no such luck shutting him up, however. He recovered quickly and put his headset on.

"Ah," he laughed again, "wow." Whatever he was going to say next was abruptly cut off by Yelena's fist to the nose, as quick as a reflex. I smirked. I was starting to like her more and more. Alexei groaned in Russian, his hand covering his face to either soothe the ache or to limit the chances of him being punched by the only other person on the jet besides himself. And she had a good reason to. I knew from experience Natasha punched hard. Alexei sniffled deeply. "Okay. Why the aggression, huh?" He asked. I blinked up at him. He couldn't really be THIS stupid, could he? "Is it your time of the month?" I was halfway out of my seat when Natasha turned in hers, shaking her head. I clenched my jaw but sat back down. This wasn't my fight. Not really. And Alexei had it coming to him, no matter what the girls wanted to dish out.

"I don't get my period, dipshit. I don't have a uterus." Yelena spoke so matter-of-factly, I almost laughed out loud.

"Or overies." Natasha chimed in from the co-pilot seat, glancing casually out the window.

"Yeah. That's what happens when the Red Room gives you an involuntary hysterectomy. They kind of just go in there and they rip out all of your reproductive organs. They just get right in there and they chop them all away...everything out, so you can't have babies..." mercifully, Alexei cut her off before she could finish her train of thought. I had no idea where that train was headed, but it was definitely downhill.

"Okay, okay. Okay! Okay!" Alexie was practically shrieking, and I was shocked that he wasn't covering his ears. "You don't have to get so clinical and nasty." He sat down across from me again, holding his hands out as though to protect himself from the conversation.

"Oh, well, I was about to talk about fallopian tubes, but okay." Yelena shrugged

"No." Alexei answered firmly. "It means so much to me that you came back for me." Natasha was already shaking her head 'no' as he spoke, and I could see the sneer on her lips.