Shameless - lestappen

22- Black Friday

I wanna be happy
Could you show me
How it's done?

- Tom Odell

22

Max Verstappen

I knew this moment was coming and yet receiving his message made me sick. Literally.

Armand: See you tomorrow, darling.

I'm crouched on the edge of the toilet next to my driver's room, vomiting up everything I managed to eat today, not much in the end.

My hands are shaking slightly. Of course, my blood sugar doesn't like all the ups and downs.I sit on the floor and try to catch my breath. With my legs bent against my chest I hold the tears that threaten to roll down my cheeks.

I don't want him to touch me again. I don't want to hear the sound of his voice, I don't want to smell his scent  or recognize the sound of his footsteps. I never want to see him again. I want him out of my life, now that I have Charles.

I still have one more interview before the end of the day. I can do it. I have to. We don't want others to ask questions. I don't want my father to see me like this.

I slip my hand into my pocket and pull out a strawberry lollipop. I need to regain my energy and breathe.

I throw away the wrapper and slowly get up, deleting the notifications that come from Armand.I go out of the bathroom and check in the mirror to make sure I don't look too sick before joining my team for the interview.

I answer questions as I'm asked to do and smile when appropriate. I pretend to be interested and laugh at the jokes of the other drivers around me.

As soon as I'm finally done, I hurry to pick up my car from the parking lot and go to the hotel where I know Charles is staying.

I park the car in a parking lot a bit far away so as not to attract attention and I hurry to meet him in his room.

I just want to have a good night with him, feel his skin against mine, his body heat against mine and his fingers against my skin. I want to forget that tomorrow his caresses will be replaced by someone else's blows. That his hugs will be replaced by muscles that will keep me from running away.

I want to forget how dirty I'm going to feel, that I won't be able to look myself in the eye anymore, and that Charles doesn't deserve a piece of trash like me.

Charles knows something's wrong, but he's amazing as always, and he doesn't make me talk when I don't have the courage.

I wish I could be in his arms forever, knowing nothing more than the security of his presence.I didn't get much sleep that night. I watch the Monegasque next to me breathing calmly. He's so pretty.

I run my fingers over his arms and face, trying to tattoo the feeling of his soft skin into my mind. I end up putting my lips on his before going and watching him open his eyes slightly.

"Max?

- Shhh... keep sleeping, I'm going back to my hotel.

- See you on the circuit, then?

- Yeah..."

I hurry to get my things and leave the room with my heart beating with remorse.My phone's already vibrating. Armand will probably be waiting for me in my driver's room so I have to find a way to avoid him as much as possible.

I'll change in the bathroom if I have to.

The last time I saw Armand, he beat me up because he was jealous of Charles.Now that he saw that Charles had posted a story on Instagram and that I was on it, I think he's capable of pretty much anything.