Shameless - lestappen

27- Ribs

You're the only friend I need,
sharing beds like little kids
and laughing 'til our ribs get tough

- Lorde

27

Max Verstappen

Charles didn't text me.

But Lando did.

Lando: Can I talk to you?

My heart started beating hard in my chest and a strange feeling filled my throat. I don't really know what Lando's want to talk about. We haven't spoken in so long. We used to be very good friends, and overnight, I lost him like everyone else. Because of my abuser.

Does he want to talk about the conversation we had in the boardroom about this petition? Or he saw what I was doing with Charles before he joined the driver's room.

I don't know if I really want to talk about one or the other. But I can't say no, sooner or later I'm going to have to talk anyway.

And I don't want to be alone tonight. I wish I could find comfort in the arms of the Monegasque, but he does not want the same apparently.

I meet Lando at a famous restaurant in town.

He's already here when I walk into the restaurant. He gets up and holds out his hand. I can't remember the last time he said hello to me but I know it wasn't that way. 

I liked to take the British man in my arms and greet him before he started acting like he didn't see me, like everyone else did.

Before I stopped celebrating my birthdays because no one was coming anyway.

I take his hand in mine and greet him briefly before sitting next to him.

"We have a lot to talk about, Max, I think... and I understand if you don't want to talk to me, but I have things to say to you and I want to." Says Lando, he seems a little uncomfortable.

I reply with a nod while keeping my eyes fixed on the restaurant's wine list. It's hard to look him in the face, because I know his face has only one expression... of sorrow and pity.

"I'm sorry for what I said about this petition, I'm sorry I signed it, but most of all I'm terribly angry that I abandoned you at a time when you needed friends more than anything, I apologize for turning my back on you. I didn't want to lose a friend, but what I thought you did and seeing Charles like that made me so angry that I didn't want to see you anymore.

- It's nothing, you couldn't have known. I answer without emotion but my heart is torn inside me. 

Lando was truly a very good friend.

- I disagree, Max. I could have done more for you. I've seen how bad you've been the last few months. I saw how you were and I didn't do anything. Friends or not I don't think I should be forgiven for not even once asking you how you were doing or if you needed help when I knew no one else would have ask you.

- I don't blame you, honestly Lando, I don't care about any of this, I just want to be able to enjoy now, feel alive. "

That's not entirely true, I care a lot, but I don't really want to hear Lando's apology any longer. I don't really blame him, I don't want to be angry with him or fight after all the people who turned their backs on me. That would be a huge  and useless waste of energy.

The British replied with a nod. I'm about to ask him what he saw earlier in the day after the race when he opened that door and saw me with Charles but the waiter comes to take our orders. We talk about everything and nothing for a long time, while eating our respective food. After a while, Lando changes the subject.