Shameless - lestappen

30- No surprises

A heart that's full up like a landfill
A job that slowly kills you
Bruises that won't heal
You look so tired, unhappy

- Radiohead

30

Charles Leclerc

A few days without Max and life seems to lose its pleasant flavor when he's not around.

I'm at a shooting for APM Monaco, a Monegasque jewelry brand of which I'm proud to be one of the ambassadors.

I love this brand of jewelry, but today, I would like to be somewhere other than at this shooting location with an army of photographers, make-up artists and stylists.

I have been trying for about 30 minutes to listen to the directions given to me, but I am not at all focused.

My brain seems to be only capable of one thing. Think about Max.

I find myself several times smiling like an idiot, totally absorbed in my thoughts.
He's the one who makes me smile like that.

I'm obviously trying to get back to my serious expression and look 100% focused on the shoot to avoid the director's remarks or worse that someone suspects something.

Somebody understand that I'm madly in love with him.

My phone suddenly vibrates in my back pocket and I take advantage of the fact that the photographers and the lighting engineer readjust the spotlights to take it in my hand and unlock it.

Obviously I can't control my heart beating a little faster and dimples appearing on my cheeks as my smile gets bigger when I see a message from him.
I click on the notification as soon as possible.

This is a photo of a red shopping bag with the Ferrari logo in black. He sent a message below the picture: as promised ;).

I understand right away. He really did it for real...

I put my phone in my pocket and apologize to the team, pretending I need to go to the bathroom.

I lock myself in the bathroom and call the Dutchman in  facetime.

He responds immediately and I forget for a moment what I want to say to him as I find myself face to face with his face on my screen, his hair in a mess and his satisfied smile.

"You really did it.

I say with a big smile, unable to hide my happiness at seeing that he really pays attention to what I say to him.

- Of course, I couldn't wait to wear your name. He answers with a laugh.

- You know I could have given you one? You wouldn't have had to buy one.

But I'm actually glad he bought it. I can clearly picture him going to a Ferrari store with red merch with Carlos and me all over it.

- You should have seen the faces of the salesmen when they saw me, and when they saw me buying your jersey.

I feel my smile widen in spite of myself, yes I can clearly imagine the scene.

- And what did you tell them to justify yourself?

- I ignored them, I paid without justifying myself on my purchase. I let them imagine what use I would make of it."

I feel my cheeks warm slightly as he winked at me while passing a hand through his hair.

I have a sudden urge to be against him and a feeling of emptiness fills me.

"What's wrong, Charles?

- I miss you.