S1:E18: "A Mother, A child, And a Blue Man's backside.

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Hey.... It's me again. Miss me? 🥺 don't hate me pls... It's a cute one today!

Join my discord!! I want to hear what you guys want me to do and what you think 🥺🥺

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Mary: Hey, what you reading?
Missy: A magazine.
Mary: Oh....Making a collage for school?
Missy: No, just reading it.
Mary: Look at that. Maybe Sheldon isn't the only bookworm around here!...Which magazine?
Missy: Cosmopolitan.
Mary: What?
Missy: It's a magazine for today's woman. I see Y/n reading these all the time, they're stacked in her bathroom. Her bother recommended this one to me- Hey! I was about to find out what turns a man on.
Mary: Where'd you get this? Did her brother give them to you?! Or Y/n?! Who?!
Missy: Heather. I traded a Fruit Roll-Up for it.
Mary: Well, this is going in the garbage.
Missy: You sure? It's got some great tips on how to spice up your marriage.
Mary: My marriage is fine, thank you. And you are not to bring filth like this into our house again.
Missy: That's not fair. Sheldon reads dirty stuff all the time, and you don't say anything.
Mary: He does not.
Missy: Check out the comic book on his desk.
Mary: What?...Oh, my goodness-

Mary picked the comic up off the desk and began flicking through the pages where a big naked blue man greeted her. Not even noticing Y/n walking into the room.

Mary: Oh. Oh, my. Hold on. No. No. Th-This blue man's backside is all over the place.
Y/n: On page 112, you get to see his front side.
Mary: Oh!- I'll be back.
Missy: Where you going?
Mary: To give the owner of that comic book store - a piece of my mind!
Y/n: I get my Spider-Man comics from him- don't tell him you know me!
Mary: Shame on you for reading this filth as well!
Y/n: Cosmopolitan? You know they have some great tips for-
Mary: -My marriage is fine! Now I have to go talk to this comic man!
Missy: Cool.
Mary: And then I'm calling Heather's mom!
Missy: Aw.
Y/n: Bit harsh.
Mary: And then I'm calling yours!
Y/n: Good luck. She buys me them!
Mary: And her marriage fell apart! So that should say enough. Lord forgive me!

Y/n: She's not wrong but that's because she's crazy, not because she read cosmopolitan.
Missy: Your mom's crazy? Crazier than mine?
Y/n: She's a cool crazy. Loves her kids, loves too hard then not enough. It's a weird thing you'll get it someday.
Missy: okay!.... Can I borrow a cosmopolitan?
Y/n: Just say you're going for a dump in my bathroom and no one will question it.
Missy: Thanks!

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Georgie: Where's Mom?
Connie: Chewing out the guy who runs the comic book store.
Georgie: Why?
Y/n: She found an inappropriate comic that Sheldon had and went ballistic.
Missy: She also took my Cosmo.
Georgie: What's a Cosmo?
Missy: A magazine for today's woman.
Georgie: Sucks for you.
Connie: You know, if I had something in my room she might disapprove of, I might be looking for a real good hiding place right about now.
Georgie: I think I'm okay.
Y/n: Your air vent?
Georgie: How do you know that?!

Georgie rushed out the kitchen to his bedroom to go find a new place to hide his dirty magazines and porno magazines.

Y/n: Boys are dumb.
Connie: D-U-M-B.
Missy: Dumb-a?

Both Y/n and Connie gave her a look before going back to what they were doing.

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Missy: What's Sheldon doing?
Mary: Cooking his own dinner.
Georgie: Why?
Mary: He wants to take care of himself like an adult.
Georgie: I plan on putting that off for as long as possible.
George: Really? It's a plan?

There was a clatter in the kitchen and Connie sat up.

Connie: Maybe I should go keep an eye on him.
Mary: No. Let him handle this on his own.
Missy: I wouldn't mind watching.
Mary: Let's just say grace.

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