His Words, Her Story

[x] Two Spontaneous Needs

[x]

The next few weeks were a blur and they passed in a haze. Everything felt like it was falling apart and life gave me no business to fix it. It didn't occur to me that everyone knew Stance at school. I thought he was just mine, in a weird way. There was an assembly for him, dedicated to the boy who fought and to the boy who lost winning the game.

I couldn't stomach the thirty minute tribute and I had hauled ass. Watching people talking about Stance, knowing that they had the chance to get to know him and proudly call him their friend made my stomach drop. I wasn't going to have that.

I stayed home most of the time, not answering any calls or texts. Some were wondering where I was and why I wasn't at school most of the time. Some just wanted the latest scoop.

And I never felt so alone.

It was the night before his funeral and sleep wasn't coming to me anytime soon. I stepped outside onto my balcony and dropped my self on the floor. I stared up at the empty dark sky, my mind clear of everything. I was a master of putting aside everything and focusing on nothing.

I heard the shuffling of bushes and my eyes snapped towards the direction of the noise. My heart immediately started racing, already going into its flight or fight response as adrenaline rushed into my body.

A shadow appeared from the bushes and even though I was on the balcony it scared me shitless. I was prepared to slide backwards into my room and lock the door when the shadow stepped out further, revealing his face.

"Tobath?" I questioned, my eyes squinting in the dark. He walked towards the side and jumped onto the trash bins. I knew exactly what he would do next because I saw Marcus do it far too often.

A few seconds later he was on my balcony, sitting next to me on the floor. We stayed quiet for a long while, soaking up each other's company. I slipped back inside my room to get a fluffy blanket for both of us to prevent the night's bites.

I hadn't seen Tobath for weeks. I did wonder about him and where he was. I hadn't seen him once at school and every time I wanted to ask Rani about him, she'd shut me down. Until eventually I stopped asking and retreated back into my own cave.

"He always had the stupidest ideas." Tobath voiced. I knew he was talking about Stance and even the mere memory was killing him. "When he told me he wanted to write letters to a girl I thought he was stupid. And then he told me he wanted me to deliver them, and I thought he was actually fucking crazy. And then he told me it was you who he was writing letters to. I diagnosed him with insanity myself."

I smiled at the humour in his voice but was still aware of the pain that laced his tone. I reached for his hand under the blanket and gave him a squeeze. "And the end of the day he was amazing."

Tobath looked down at our hands even though it was covered with a blanket. "Yeah."

"In another universe, we would have all been friends." I told him, voicing another of my fantasies. I dropped my head on his shoulder and let my thoughts imagine Stance, Tobath, Rani and I all at the beach and eating ice cream. It was my pretend happy place and I had no intention of leaving the place.

"Marcus wants to get back with me," I suddenly said, taking both Tobath and myself by surprise. I didn't know why I told him that and the relevance to it. We weren't even friends and he surely had no interest in my business.

Tobath took a long time to say something and all the while I regretted my blurting mouth for opening. "Are you?" He questioned slowly.

I told him the truth. "I don't know." I was torn between wanting someone to look after me, not wanting to be alone anymore and wanting to live a new life. Which included no one from this life.

"Before you do get with him, allow me to have one thing." Tobath's hand left from under mine and soon both his hands were at my neck. He tilted my head upwards and lowered his head.

I knew what was going to happen. The air had changed and my body went into an state of disequilibrium as it anticipated the next move. But my head was going ballistic.
We weren't friends. We were just acquaintances of some sort. And we certainly weren't that close to be bumping heads and causing a few heart races.

But I let him have it. His lips came down on mine softly and I let us have this one thing that would bound us together for awhile. Because it was what we both needed even though I had no idea what for.

--

a/n: Ramadan Kareem to all my loves out there.
For all who are wondering, yes this will end on Z
two more parts left (I'm intending to write them today and just post them already)
xox