I Would Want To See You One Last Time.

Piece 13 (Aftermath)

She looks at me with wide eyes and her mouth hangs open slightly. "What?" She asked to make sure of what I said.

"You heard me, Maria," I say, I can still feel the fear rushing through my veins. She knows I'm scared. For all that I know, she can smell it off of me. I don't want to look at her but can't leave her gaze. She looks genuinely upset at what I just said. What the fuck, don't feel bad? She's fucking crazy.

"You just don't want to talk?" She asks and I can see the fear in her eyes. She interlocks her hands together and starts messing with her fingers. Tightening and then releasing on each other.

"Yes," I yell, "You fucking scare me. This isn't the first time this has happened and it seems to not be the last. You made me feel crazy for these dreams and blank memories of us. Then you do it again when I'm in my most vulnerable state from last night." I say angrily to her. I have a right to be mad, she went and did this shit behind my back. "Then, you tell me all of this crazy ass shit that I had no clue existed. And then you go ahead and terrify me out of it."

Staring at her sitting there, frozen. She's not fiddling with her fingers anymore, she's just sitting there. Quiet, careful not to even make a sound.

Then, I watch her face relax. "It's what you wanted."

"I never said I wanted it." I yell, "Despite that, there's a line between want and need. I wouldn't be so freaked out if you didn't get in my face, yell at me about it, let alone fucking strangle me." I got louder. Then I say with a lower tone. "Maria, I was scared. I'm still scared. I want no business with you and this fucking magical world." I stop. "Whether that means we never speak again or not. I don't want to be scared about fighting for my life around you."

"Winter, it doesn't have to be this way. Please don't leave." She reaches a hand out for me and in reflex, I swat it away.

"No. I'm leaving, I can't stay here for my own sake." I say while standing up. I go around the room and collect my things.

"Winter, come on-" She tries to say but I cut her off.

"No Maria," I turn to look at her and shout. "I'm not fucking staying. I do not feel safe around you anymore." I look away from her and continue grabbing my stuff.

She doesn't say anything anymore and just lets me continue what I'm doing. No one says anything as Maria doesn't know what to do. I try not to look at her and just hurry.

"I'm sorry." She says so low, it was almost a whisper. I know she's looking at me, I can feel her eyes on me.

I finally look at her for the first time. "If you're seriously sorry, you won't talk to me until I'm ready. If that ever happens."

"Okay, whatever you need." She pauses and glances away from me. "love." She says and I watch her eyes flash with amusement for a second and her mouth turns into a smile.

"Stop that," I say, getting angry again. "I'm leaving. Don't text or call me either."

Her face changes from amused to upset again. "Goodbye, Winter."

I look at her for a moment before walking out of her room. I head down the stairs and out the front door, closing it behind me. As I was closing it, I could see her at the end of the staircase seeming like she was about to cry. I couldn't feel bad right now though, so I just shut the door and walked down the path to the front door.