i layed staring at the vacant spot where another body wasnt, where a nother body was supposed to be, where one used to be. i layed by myself, curled up on my side on one half of the bed while the other remained empty aside from another pillow and the sheets.
the empty half of the bed served as a visual representation of the void i felt in myself, as if a big piece was missing. it might as well be because when they left a huge piece of me went with them and the missingness i feel within and around me is too much to put into the properwords.
i will recover, move on and find a new piece of myself again, but for now i lay alone in what once was a shared bed for two. alone in a shared room now vacant of all but one.
i'll wallow in this feeling a little longer till im ready to heal. i'll be alone till i get used to it and get used to other people again.
lonely. thats the simplest word for it.
