accidental | l.r.h

vi

+++

As I sit on the curb, on the verge of crying, I look up to see the one and only. Luke Hemmings.

"You look like you need someone." He says in a low, quiet voice and takes a seat right next to me. "And I know how it is to need someone."

The words stopped my tears. They swam around in my brain, instantly making me question everything anyone has ever said about him. He needed someone. The so called "emotionless murderer" needed someone.

"Yeah." I sigh. Trying to find my voice.

He sits with his elbows on his knees and looks at me with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Cassidy."

Him saying my name caught me off guard.

"What's wrong?"

I take a deep breath. "I.. I just feel like I let the person I care about the most... down."

He looks down at his hands. "I know how that is." He says quietly.

"What do you mean?" I pop up.

"Nothing." He says quickly. "Nothing... but.. I heard what you said earlier. I just want to thank you. You're the first person to ever do that for me."

"What... what are you talking about?"

"When you defended me in front of your friend. It was something I never thought anyone would do... for me especially." He admits.

"You heard?"

"Yeah. I was in the hallway. You didn't see me though..."

"Oh." I say and then look up with a smile. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you known as such a monster?"

He smiles and shakes his head. "Because... I am one. But it doesn't matter what people say about me. I know what I did and didn't do. And that's all that matters." He shrugs and stands to his feet.

I've never felt so guilty of anything. He's never opened up to anyone... that I've seen. And it's all because he thinks I wanted to give him a chance. Which, now I do. Of course I do. But I still have that pang of guilt that I lied to him.

He gives me a small, reassuring smile, pulls out a cigarette, and strolls right out of school property. Leaving me breathless for the third time.

+++

When the next period bell rings, I know Alexis can't hide from me now. We have class together 6th period.

I see her at her locker and I run down the hallway to her.

"Alexis, I'm sorry. I am so sorr-"

"It's fine." She wipes her eyes and forces a smile. "I over reacted. I should feel honored you even took that dare just to have me be happy, and I am. I am so thankful for it." She admits as if she's rehearsed it in her head.

I don't say anything. I just hug her. After a few moments, I break the silence. "I never want anything to get in between us. Nothing. Not even as stupid as that."

I felt her head nod on my shoulder and we let go of the hug.

"I explained to Calum about the deal we made. About you asking Luke just to make me happy, and it made me realize how thankful I am to have a friend that cares that much to do something like that, even if that means getting shunned for it because of who it is."

I nod. "Let's get to class."

+++

After school, Alexis wants to let Michael, Calum, and Ashton to give her a ride home. I insist on walking. Mostly because the awkward tension between me and Michael will be too thick.

"No, it's fine I swear. I can walk home. Besides, I need fresh air."

"Well... If you say so.." Calum replies and then slides in next to Alexis. Alexis gives me a sympathetic smile and I wave goodbye. As they drive away, Michael's eyes study mine. I couldn't quite read the emotion, but I broke eye contact by turning around to the sidewalk.

We were never dating. We didn't have anything really going on. He just made a lot of flirtatious remarks with me.

When I walk down the sidewalk, I head right to the park. Knowing that's were he'll be.

And I am correct.

I walk right up to him while he is inhaling on a cigarette.

"Cassidy." His face lights up slightly.

"I knew I'd find you here." I stated and leaned against the tree.

"Want one?" Luke asks, pulling out a cigarette from his pack. "You seem stressed out. It'll help you."

I look at the stick of tobacco he is handing to me. I've never smoked before. I've never really thought about it.

"No.. no thanks. Maybe later." I say as politely as I can.

"Maybe that's a good idea. These things could kill you. I wouldn't want you to get hurt..." He says but then stops himself as if he's embarrassed. "I've helped you before.."

I look up. Luke's broad shoulders over towering me. "What do you mean? You've done it before?"

"Oh nothing." He takes another drag from his cigarette. "You're different."

The statement took me aback. "Different?"

"Yes."

"Is that.. a good thing?" I question.

He looks at me for a moment with a shine in his eyes. "To me it is.. if that counts as anything." He shrugs.

"Well.. of course it does. Why wouldn't it?" I press on.

"Why would it, is the real question. Why would it matter? I'm just a waste of a boy taking up space here now." He replies coldly.

"Why would you say such a thing?"

He has a different look on his face, confused as to why someone cares to what he says.

"You see, Cassidy, when we are born, we are only here for one reason. A big reason. Whether it be finding a cure to cancer, saving a child's life, capturing a cereal killer, saving a cat out of a tree...or...saving your mother's life in a house up in flames..." He trails off and takes a deep breath in and out. "No matter how big or small our reason is, that's why we were born. Once you do your duty, you're pretty much useless from there."

I sit there for a moment, processing and absorbing what he had just said.

"So.. what are you saying? How does that answer my question?"

Luke looks at the ground and then to me. "Come."

He takes my arm and drags me across the park. My feet stumble along, trying to keep up with him.

As we make it to the street, he slows down and makes his hand go down into my hand, and grabs it. Our fingers intertwine like they were made for each other. My breath was short and a slight blush came to my cheeks as he continued to lead me down the street.

Soon enough, he takes me right into the woods. We walk down a gravel road. He is slightly in front of me leading the way with my hand still gripped in his and no matter what I do, my feet lag behind a little bit.

Finally, somewhere down the grassy, gravel road is an old, rocky, gravel driveway with a house that is burnt into ashes and black, burnt wood onto the ground.

And that answers my question. He didn't murder his mother, he failed to save her while her house was burning. He believed that was his reason for being born... and now that he failed to save her, he believes he's a useless piece... of space..